How to Keep Going When Life Breaks You with Rickey Smiley

[00:00] Looking for more than just a job? Brightview Senior Living is opening Brightview North Facts in Fairfax, Virginia. And we're hiring across all departments, from dining and caregiving to maintenance, sales, and leadership. This is your chance to be part of something from the very beginning. At Brightview North Facts, you'll find a team that supports you, values you, and a career that can grow with you. Text BVJOBS to [redacted phone] or visit careers.brightviewseniorliving.com to apply. [00:30] You're listening to Mick Unplugged, hosted by the one and only Mick Hunt. This is where purpose meets power and stories spark transformation. Mick takes you beyond the motivation and into meaning, helping you discover your because and becoming unstoppable. I'm Rudy Rush, and trust me, you're in the right place. Let's get unplugged. [00:53] Ladies and gentlemen, we are back with another exciting episode of Mick Unplugged. [01:00] that I've had because I'm talking with a guy that you all know but he changed my life and he didn't even know it there was a moment in college where I wanted to give up and Ricky Smiley changed my life ladies and gentlemen I present the legend the goat Mr. Ricky Smiley man thank you for having me man appreciate that bro [01:20] Oh, thank you. Excuse the left hand, but I really appreciate you having me. No, I'm honored to be here, man. And I'm going to go straight to this point. [01:28] Yeah. You know, Ricky, we go to college.

[01:32] We graduate and everybody think life is good, right? Like you, you did the thing, you went to college, you graduated. Now the world is about to open up to you. But the reality is, man, that wasn't happening for me. I saw all my friends struggling to get jobs and I'm 22 years. [01:46] Like, man, if I go back home, it's going to be over. But I can't go back home. Right. I can't go to college and then come back home and do what everybody else back home is doing. Yeah. And there were nights, man, where, like I said in the intro, I just wanted to give up. [02:00] And I would go back and watch comic view. I would listen to the print call tapes. You just never know when you need that thing. And then I started studying. [02:12] Ricky Smiley, the man, not the comedian, but the man and the father. And that changed my whole outlook on who I was supposed to be. I realized that. [02:22] I always know I supposed to be something. [02:25] But I never knew that I could see it. Yeah. You allowed me to see it by studying your path, your journey that we have a lot of similarities in. [02:34] And then watching you just mature into Ricky Smiley, man, I I'm proud of it for you, but I needed it for me. I needed to see that somebody looked like me. [02:43] can go through life and be that. So I thank you, brother. No, man, thank you for having me. And, uh, you know, uh, I, [02:51] a lot of people talk about those coming few days a lot of people um when i you know that i meet say hey man i was up watching coming you when i supposed to been sleep supposed to been in the bay i was getting in trouble but stand up late watching watching coming yes so yeah it's it's definitely a uh bet comic view is definitely a a historical institution for comedians i was my

[03:21] So grateful for that opportunity. Yeah. And I'm glad between that and the prank phone calls, you know, gave you some some hope and put some I hope that it puts some smiles on your face. You needed it when you go through. [03:35] I don't want to call it despair. I was just [03:38] I was trying to figure out who I was supposed to be. And it was internal conflict. [03:43] And the laughter... [03:45] just helped me realize like, Hey man, everything's all right. Like you're able to laugh. Yeah. You're, you're able to put two feet on the ground and walk wherever you want to go. Like people don't get to enjoy that. Yeah. And then, like I said, I started to study you and I was like, all right, [03:59] It's OK. Like there is a path to make just good things happen. And you can come from a Christian home. And like I was raised like you were raised and you know how to do the right things. And when you get pulled certain directions, like, you know where your center is. And I was proud of you because. [04:14] You are a person that [04:16] publicly were okay talking about your faith at a young age. You were okay talking about your upbringing at a young age. And I didn't have that conflict anymore. And I needed that from you. [04:27] Yeah. Well, you know, that's my job, you know, is to. [04:32] you know, to, to, uh, you know, [04:34] to give people hope to be a mentor, you know, to try to walk, walk the best path that I can walk, try to do things the right way. Yeah. And hopefully that some, that somebody see it and learn from it, you know, because, you know, like yourself and myself, we had mentors as well that we loved and respected and kind of gave us something to aim to, you know, to, to reach for or whatever. So yeah, you know, shout out to my mentors of mine.

[05:00] My grandparents and my parents and my teachers, especially teachers in middle school and high school, when your real development happened, you know, so, you know, shout out to them. Yeah, I'm from the South Birmingham, you know, Alabama, old fashioned home training where, you know, those teachers and instructors will tell you to sit up straight. Don't you with your mouth open table matters, wash your face, brush your teeth, sit up straight. [05:30] you [05:31] little things as far as Ricky Snider is the man and the development of that, where that came from. I'm so proud of it, man, because you've been that mentor for me as I got older. I had kids or I adopted my kids, but [05:46] Um, [05:47] Understanding... [05:49] what it's like to be a father. [05:53] Again, you got to do a lot of things publicly, right? And you do so much privately. And we'll talk about that later too, that people don't realize. But, [06:01] But, you know, growing up in that era or raising kids in the era where it's like you can't discipline your kids, you know, you can't do these things. And I'm watching Ricky Smiley like I'm raising my kids the way that they're supposed to be raised. Right. And I love that authenticity of you. And like, when did. [06:19] I'm not going to say when did you know, but like, [06:21] What made you say you're committed to being Ricky Smiley and you're going to do it your way with. [06:27] child raising and all that. The problem in today's society, everything that's right is now wrong. And everything that's wrong is now right. And I'm just trying to, I think that what my grandparents and my parents did for me, it worked for me. It was critical to my development. And if it worked for me, it should work for my kids because it still works. Discipline.

[06:54] And structure and teaching kids, children, respect and teaching them, you know, to be humble and respectful and stuff. It's their work. Yeah. You know, everybody so sensitive nowadays and everything is all. Oh, oh, don't hurt. That might hurt our feelings. Right. Oh, it ain't no. Oh. [07:18] No. Get down. [07:20] Don't do that again. [07:21] Right. [07:22] Derin ki oğlum, [07:23] That didn't kill my granddaughter to tell her to get down and don't do it again. Do you understand? That's it. Yeah. That's not no, that's not abuse. Telling her to get down. I don't have to negotiate her getting down. Yeah. Yeah. [07:40] Get out. Yeah. [07:42] I'm your grandpa. [07:43] I'm your dad. [07:45] Get down. And that's the end of it. You'll be fine. If it hurts your feelings, it's fine. Because [07:50] the world is going to really hurt you. Because when you get out here and meet some of the people, so, you know, [07:57] I just tell them what it is. Like my grandparents told me it didn't kill me. And so it's not going to kill them. Right. I'm not compromising. I'm not get down and. [08:07] If you get out, I'll give you a cookie. [08:09] If you get out, I'll give you a juice. I'm not giving you nothing. It's not a negotiation. Get out. [08:15] Right. Period. Right. And that's it. And isn't it crazy? Like we knew as kids, like I think parents forget kids know right and wrong. They do. They know right and wrong. They're just testing your limits on what are you going to allow them to do? And you set that standard for your children. Again, that's why I appreciate you, because it allowed me when my kids were, you know,

[08:37] preteen to teen to say i'm gonna talk to you like an adult [08:41] But I'm still your father. [08:43] Right. [08:43] Right. And I'm, [08:45] I'm not going to repeat myself if I say it once. It's been said. Yeah, I think sometimes we get caught up in trying to give kids what we did not have, as opposed to giving them what we had. Right. That's the key to success. If you like who you are, then give the kids what you had as opposed to what you didn't have. [09:15] feel uh with a little bit of psychology mixed in there and say hey okay i can you can tweak some things but that basic foundation you know um [09:26] We went to church and we're going to be sitting here for an hour and a half hour, 45 minutes. Sit down. [09:32] be quiet, be still. No, they don't have children's church. You don't have to be entertained all the time. You have to learn to sit down and be quiet and be still. Like we had to do a church and no, you're not getting an iPad. We're not taking an iPad in the church as a pacifier. We're not going to have an iPad all the time in the car. As a matter of fact, I don't have an iPad in the car because half of these kids can't tell you how to get home. Nope. Because they're so focused and so [10:02] Make a left turn right there. Stop that stop sign go straight third house, right? Like none any of that. Yeah, so

[10:10] I try to give my children and grandchildren a lot of what I had as opposed to what I didn't have. The same manners and home training and discipline and structure that I got and I receive, I give to them. And I hope that. [10:28] it make them respectful adults. Yeah. You know, and productive adults. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to get to this amazing story. [10:37] best-selling book in one second. Thank you. But I usually start my show by asking my guests, [10:44] What's your because? And because I've read this book four times, like I feel it in there. But I classify your because is that thing that's deeper than your why. Right. Like to me, your why is superficial. [10:57] People talk about all the time. I got to find my why. Well, you know what your why is. It's the reason that makes them or that thing your why that's really important. So if I were to say, what's your why? And then I say, but why is it your why? Why is it important? [11:11] That sentence starts with, well, because I care about that because that tells me who you are. So if I were to say, Ricky, 2026, man. [11:20] What's your because? Why do you continue to do all the amazing things that you do for communities, for children, mentoring other people like? [11:31] West your because. [11:33] Oh, no. [11:34] You know, uh... [11:36] I do it because I love what I do. You know, I love to help people. I hope that I would change somebody's life. I hope that I was able to make somebody's life better. Uh, I wake up just to do that. You know, um, it's a responsibility. It's something that you have to do. It's something is my life. It's what I, it's who I am, you know, giving and helping and mentoring is who I am as a person. Yeah. And, uh, you know, uh,

[12:05] Our job is to bless people and to help people. Help people, bless people, mentor people, because life is not just about you. That's right. [12:15] People did not make... [12:17] Uh, everything about them, you know, our grandparents and parents and great uncles and teachers, they made personal sacrifices so we can have what we have and, uh, you just have to pay it forward. And that's why, that's why you live. Yeah. You know, wake up every day to serve God and God and to do God's work. [12:36] you know, start out my morning show with praise break, you know, the first [12:41] 14 minutes of the show. It's just giving God the praise and [12:46] You know, a lot of time God put you in certain positions so he could see what you're going to do with it and so he could see if he could trust you. [12:54] And I told God a long time ago, hey, if you get me out of this rut right here, I promise you I'll serve you to the day I die and try to make somebody life better because of the things that you bless me with. Yeah. Yeah. But we have to also understand that, you know, everybody that you bless is not going to appreciate it. That comes with the territory. That's the dark side of it. So at this age or whatever, I'm starting to realize a good. [13:20] balance between [13:22] Good people and appreciative people and bad people and not so appreciative people and how to navigate through that and find people to help and mentor and love and bless that actually appreciate what you're trying what you're trying to do for them. And it's really hard.

[13:39] Yeah. Yeah. [13:41] I needed to hear that. [13:42] Yeah, I needed that. [13:45] I needed that so much, man, because... [13:49] You're right. Like, [13:50] You never understand people's intention because you feel like I'm talking about me. Mm hmm. [13:57] You just want to do good. [13:58] You just want to do good. And even when you kind of feel like they don't appreciate it, you still... [14:05] want to feel good. And now I'm starting to look at it because you just reminded me that I could have gave that good intention somewhere else. Absolutely. [14:14] Man, when I tell you I got a text message, an entitled text message, like it was real entitled. And I sent them an itemized text message. [14:27] copy of everything that I've done to help them. [14:31] and send it to them and hit that block button. Because one thing I'm going to always do is protect my peace. Yes. You know, nobody on this earth have to do anything for you. Nobody. If anybody think enough of you and kind of... [14:46] I'm real loyal. [14:48] People that have helped me, man. I wish I can. [14:51] I have some of my teachers still be living today or whatever. And the last and one of the last teachers I had, man, I made sure she was straight. I made sure she had everything she needed. You know, I gave her something every month and I sent her her cigarettes and her Kavassia. That's what she drank. That's what she did. Anytime she wanted to get on a plane and go anywhere. I sent her and made sure that she got to and from the airport. And that's what it's all about, because, man, those teachers,

[15:19] went in their pockets and pocketbooks because everybody couldn't afford to go to the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus. Right. We all couldn't afford to go to the zoo. Them teachers went in their pockets and paid for us to have some of the things that we had in school. [15:32] You didn't have money in the lunchroom. You couldn't get a tray and share. Those teachers back then would let you sit there and not have anything to eat. They bought your lunch for you. Your mom and grandma paid them back eventually. But, you know, they made personal sacrifices with their own money for us and stuff. So, yeah. [15:51] I hope I'm answering your question. You were getting it. That's what it's all about. Absolutely. Yeah, helping people and loving people, and also understanding that everybody's not going to appreciate it. Be prepared for the disappointment. And it's like, yeah, I... [16:08] But you don't know how those people are going to act. You know, so, you know, God put it on your heart to help somebody just do it. You know, and I don't look for anything in return. Yeah. You're going to help 20 people. [16:19] 20, 20 people. [16:21] I promise you six or seven going to come back and say thank you. I really appreciate it. [16:26] And some you'll never hear from again. Right. [16:30] Or some of them you will. That's only if they need something. [16:33] I'm telling you, you taught me that, man. When I tell you I studied you, I studied you. Speaking of studying, [16:41] I'm going to make a confession. I'm going to look right in this camera right here. [16:44] Because everybody that knows me knows this. [16:45] I've only cried. [16:48] Five times in my life. I'm talking about tears down my eyes, cry.

[16:52] When my grandfather passed, when my mama, my grandma passed, and my granny passed. [16:59] The other two times, [17:00] I was reading this book right here. [17:03] From Taco Night in Tulum to Sushi in Tokyo, make every bite rewarding with gold from Amex. Wherever you dine, four times the membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide are piling up. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com slash Explore-Gold. Terms and points cap apply. This book makes me happy. [17:22] It was therapy. [17:23] It is there, but I'm not even going to say was because I shouldn't say I read it like I read the Bible, but there's there's moments where I need. [17:31] To connect. Yeah. [17:32] And this this book is. [17:36] No. [17:37] grounds me, man. So... [17:39] Everybody want this to be zoomed in sideshow Ricky smiley. [17:44] So much so that I usually do this at the end, but I'm going to do it now. The first... [17:50] 50 people? [17:52] that message me sideshow. [17:54] I'm going to get you a copy of this book. I'm buying it. I'm sending it to you. Thank you. And I really mean that, Rick, because here's the thing. [18:04] I knew you. [18:05] Not personally. [18:06] But I knew you. [18:07] Yeah. [18:10] I didn't know you. [18:13] And there's a lot of parallels in my life and your life, but [18:18] I understood because publicly you've talked about [18:22] you know, the, the journey,

[18:24] You've talked about the losses. [18:28] But I think [18:29] Seeing it. [18:31] From your viewpoint in a different way, man, like the journey of when it started with your father, which I didn't know. April 11th. Right. Yeah. [18:40] April 11th, 1974. [18:45] It kind of started and I've all I read this book in the first time I cried, man. [18:50] I cried for you. [18:52] Because, [18:55] That's a lot. Like, [18:57] Like when you read this book, you're going to understand. And I promise you, it's not like a sad story. [19:02] You just understand more about Ricky. Yeah. Right? [19:06] I cried because... [19:08] You know, we've always heard growing up in church, there's a saying, God never gives you more than you can bear. Right. He's never good. [19:15] I said, well, I don't know about Ricky. I don't know about Ricky because there are moments where I'm just sitting there and I had to stop reading. And I was like, [19:26] I can't hear another. I can't read another situation. [19:30] Because, again, there's things I just didn't know. [19:32] Mm. [19:34] Bro, so... [19:35] One, I thank you for the book, for writing the book. I thank you for the therapy. [19:41] But... [19:42] Dang, bro. Like, I didn't know, Rick. [19:46] Yeah. Darlene McCord told me, uh, Darlene, you know, gospel singer Darlene McCord, she told me at my son's funeral, uh, I think it was out there. She said, man, she said, you built Ford tough.

[19:59] Yes. I'm talking about forward to like, um, [20:04] You know, I had to. [20:08] I had to be strong for my other children and my mother, you know, and my son's parents, you know, his mother and father, you know, his sister, you know, had to be strong for them. I had to had to walk through that or whatever. [20:24] And then I had to deal with my grief privately. Right. You know, only thing I could think to do is praise and it's all I know to do. I'm trained. And, uh, [20:35] I never would have [20:37] gotten through all of that if it was not for my Christian foundation and my faith. [20:43] Right. You know, man, but God, you know, God walked me through that and. [20:49] Um, I often think about all of the mothers that have lost sons and, uh, especially the ones that lost sons that have, um, [21:00] cancer, the ones that have to go to dialysis, the kids that lost their children and they're homeless. Yeah. And they don't have no... [21:09] random mothers that buried their sons that don't have money to pay for a casket and a tombstone. I'm talking about mothers that have lost their sons. [21:20] That's three years old. [21:21] Yeah. Two years old. I was talking to a mother last week. [21:26] who two-year-old daughter died in a sleep. [21:29] And my daughters was on the tennis court having tennis practice. And I was walking back and forth in the parking lot on speakerphone trying to uplift another mother and let her know about God will see you through all of this. Wow. And I.

[21:45] You know, sometimes God lets you go through stuff, man, where you can be there for others. [21:50] That's a thing. Yeah. You know, and I thank God for... [21:56] Just allowing me to start the healing process. Yeah. To start to feel like I can take a deep breath, to start to see the sun again or to feel the warmth of the sun. Yeah. And I don't take those little things like that for granted. It's not even, that's a big deal. Yeah. You know, so it's not, you know, about me and if I can help somebody heal. Mm-hmm. [22:20] Mér. [22:22] be there for somebody to have someone to talk to, then that's my job. I just let God use me. And so you were talking through where I was going to ask, like, my first question about the book was, [22:37] Did you know what was going to be a healer for others? And it sounds like at some point you did. [22:44] When did you say... [22:46] I'm going to write a book. [22:48] I was having a conversation with my business manager and then she got my publicist on the phone. We had the same conversation and they was like, you got it. We got to write this. We got to write this up. We got to put it in a book. And it started from there. [23:02] Okay. [23:03] Because all of the stuff, you know, the mirror between my dad's death and how he died and I sat there and watched my grandparents go through that. And then I became my granddad.

[23:16] Yeah. Sitting on the front row, burying my son. [23:20] is so many [23:22] It's the book is really, really deep. And I would encourage anybody to get it. If you're going through the grief process, it's definitely going to open you up and it's definitely going to help you out. [23:34] So, [23:35] Not only that, and this is something... [23:37] Nobody in the world knows... [23:40] Um... [23:42] And I'm saying it to you. I'm gonna look you in your eye and tell you. [23:46] It helps you prepare for grief too. [23:49] Wow. [23:51] Ricky. [23:52] My father died April 1st, two Wednesdays ago. [23:57] Now, sorry for your loss. Just this past. Just... [24:01] Ten days or seven days ago. [24:04] Now, we didn't have a great relationship. [24:07] I hadn't seen my dad... [24:10] In 15 years, it's at once at my granny's funeral and we hadn't talked. We hadn't done anything. [24:17] And I didn't feel a certain way. And it's not because he wasn't in my life anymore or anything else. [24:24] But I was prepared. [24:28] And this helped me prepare for that. And, [24:32] I didn't realize it. Obviously, I knew you and I were going to have this conversation. And I wanted to tell you that, that. [24:38] Not only is it for healing, [24:41] It is also for preparation. Like reading this book helped me understand fundamentally. I never heard that. That's the first time somebody ever said that to me. Thank you for that. Yeah. Because again, when you're writing something,

[24:56] You're writing it with intent, right? But you never know what someone needs. Right. Right. And it helped me prepare. Obviously, I didn't know my dad was going to die. He wasn't dying or anything like that. [25:08] But it helped me with the right mental framework. And so now I want I'm going to talk to men specifically here. [25:17] You can't be too big. You can't be too proud. You can't have too much ego. [25:23] One to grieve. [25:25] One to seek help. [25:26] to seek help for that. [25:28] And two, to talk to other people. And again, that's what this book allowed me to understand was that. [25:35] Put your ego aside. [25:36] Being a man doesn't mean you've got to be tough 24 seven. You still have responsibilities. [25:42] But you also need to make sure that you're OK so you can handle it. [25:46] those responsibilities. And I got that from Ricky Smiley. [25:49] Yeah. And it's tough, man. When I tell you it's tough, man, it is, it's, it's, [25:56] And, [25:57] Man. [25:58] You know, it's crazy because, you know, when you when you go out to go back to the morgue and see your son laying there with no life in his body, man, it's something this this same kid. They used to suck his thumb and sleep in the bed with you. And now you just never thought that. [26:16] It would end up like this. Yeah. And, um, [26:20] especially being a public figure, being somebody that have responsibility to get on that microphone.

[26:26] Because you got 8 million listeners who all and a lot of them have lost their kids and they're depending on you and the praise break in order to get through. [26:36] And they're worried about you. You know, my son died on the Sunday. Wednesday, I was back on the air because I don't want to lay in the bed thinking about that. Let me just go do my morning show to give me some some therapy and help me a little bit. And then, you know, I can deal with that later. [26:55] I had to make some tough decisions during that time. Yeah, it was it was. [27:01] It was the worst and darkest days of my whole life. [27:04] Yeah. [27:06] But you came through it and you're coming through it Coming through it And I think, I know for me personally A lot of folks that I know Like we just wanted to [27:16] Show you love. [27:18] by being there like even if we couldn't physically be yeah thank you but but to to like [27:23] Ricky, man, like we're with you. We love you. Um, [27:27] Keep doing the show. Keep keep keep smiling, even when it's tough. And you talk about that in the book. And I want to go there next, too. But, you know, [27:36] We need Ricky. Yeah. [27:39] Because we've all gone through something. And like I said, I don't know if you realize it enough, man, but like, [27:45] People follow you. [27:47] People model themselves after you like people need you. And so it's like, I, I need, I need, [27:53] To make sure Ricky can be strong because I'm going to need to be strong one day and I'm going to need to look back at how Ricky is doing. Yeah. One thing about life, man, death is going to happen.

[28:03] Right. Yeah. Death is going to happen. Death is going to knock at your door. And like you said, reading my book will get you prepared because we all got to leave here. That's what our Reverend John King was preaching about Sunday. You know, we are going to leave here. We're not going to be here forever, you know. And and then you need to prepare your family for your death and get things in order and in place and change your will up every month or two. [28:30] You know, as much as you need to. Why are you staring at me? Why are you staring? I'm just I'm just I'm just saying it. I need to. It's so important as a man not to leave your family in because they already going to be going through the grief process. So you don't want to leave them in chaos. [28:48] Right. And have everything organized. Like I had my mom, you know, my stepdad and [28:55] Get this stuff together. And she came over one day. She put an envelope in my hand. Yeah. OK, man, if they happen to me, here you go. And of course, I open it up right there and start reading through or whatever, looking at stuff, asking questions or whatever, you know, just mess with it. But yeah, death is a part of life. But you don't expect for your children to die. You don't. [29:16] You don't expect for your children to die. And, you know, I also talk about therapy in the book and the importance of going to therapy, because when I went to therapy, I started opening up talking about this. It wasn't just that. This went all the way back to my childhood. You know, moments of grief and the things that happened after the grief. Yeah. You know, yeah.

[29:40] process that I deal with. And then all of a sudden it happens to me, you know, because I always looked at my granddad instead of my granddad. Like, I cannot believe that he went through that and he buried his son. And I was real close to my granddad, you know, and then I became him. [29:59] And that's something. The parallel, right? Yeah, the parallel is so crazy. Exactly. And what was really sad. [30:08] to see my uncles who picked me up from the airport. [30:10] Go through this all over again because they went through this with my dad. [30:14] And now they lose their nephew. [30:19] And they picked me up from the airport when I flew in Birmingham. All three of them was in the car crying. And the only thing I could think to do was turn the radio up. It was on 98.7 Kids, the R&B station, to lighten the mood. When I got home, it was an NFC or AFC playoffs. All I remember, the Bengals was playing. [30:44] to have it, to lighten it a little bit. You know, get people distracted a little bit, get them watching the game to get their mind off of that because it was terrifying. It was awful. It felt bad. It was dark. It was cloudy. It was raining. And just some football just bring just a little bit of just lighten it. [31:05] A little bit. Hmm. [31:07] And and I just had to manage stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah. And you talked about therapy and I want again, I'm going to talk to men because a lot of times we feel too proud. And I was I didn't I didn't go to therapy the first time till I read the book through the first time. And I realized that.

[31:26] I need help. [31:27] Yeah. And it's OK to admit that. And I travel a lot. And then I realized, oh, there's teletherapist like I don't have to be at home like I can do this on a call or on a Zoom or whatever now. [31:39] And it helped me... [31:41] understand me a little bit. [31:43] Mm-hmm. [31:44] It helped me understand sometimes how I make the decisions that I make, the emotions that I have and what brings out the good, the bad, the indifferent. [31:51] But again, I'm going to keep giving Ricky Smiley his flowers while he's here. [31:55] He helped me understand that. And so for everybody, not just the men, but I think for everybody – [32:01] Having some type of regular [32:04] therapy call session and whatever regular means to you. It doesn't mean weekly, daily, quarterly and like whatever, but, [32:12] It's good for your spirit. Yeah, you better sit down and talk about it. You have to get it out. You have to cry it out. [32:18] I can't tell you how many days I sat on the steps that go down into my kitchen. I sat on that step and cried. [32:26] for days. And I was just in the house. I can look up at the ceilings and see the cries. [32:34] engraved in the paint. Because I just remember crying and looking up and just crying out. This in the house by myself. This is when those funeral directors say when the flowers had withered, [32:46] when the cards stopped coming and the phone calls stopped coming and like a year later it really hit me the only difference between when my son died a year later you don't have no casket, no flowers no obituaries and no condolences and you are stuck

[33:04] by yourself. Just you. In the house by yourself, just you. Having to relive it all over again. So, yeah, you better go get some help because that's like running into a brick wall. Yeah. Because what is my life [33:18] Now. Yeah. [33:19] In the blink of a second, your life changed. It's horrible. It is. But God. [33:29] In the book, you talk about [33:31] You know, you're obviously a public figure, comedian, radio show, a lot of things you do in the community. And your job is to part of your job, one of your jobs, make people laugh, make people smile. But on the inside, you're dying. And a lot of times, I mean, and this is even before Brandon, right? Like, [33:49] A lot of times people didn't know the things that you were carrying on the inside. And you've got teams and you've got to be the source for everybody. Yeah. Talk about that, man, because I don't think people understand that enough, especially a person like a Ricky Smiley. [34:06] Yeah, you literally on stage doing comedy performing while you crying on the inside. I remember I performed at the casino right outside of Cleveland. I had did a comedy show there after Brandon died. I think that was my first time going on stage. Man, I cried from downtown Cleveland all the way to the casino. And I know that driver had to be uncomfortable. And I mean, I was booing. The driver, I could tell he wanted to ask what was wrong, but he was in between there and said, I might not want to bother him.

[34:36] and cried, went in the dressing room and cried some more. [34:40] and cried all the way up until they was introducing me to go on stage. Blew my nose. I'm very sure nothing was in my nose and got myself together and went on stage and killed them. Yeah. [34:53] killed him while hard broken on the inside same thing happened i was at uh some comedy club and i just [35:00] Um, [35:01] was outside crying. Back [35:05] back behind the comedy club just crying it out trying to get it out of my system so i can go on stage and perform because i still have to work yeah i still have bills that need to be paid i other people are sitting in the audience you know that's that's stage for cancer and sitting on dialysis you know um [35:26] You know, coming out to see you perform. Yeah. And you have a responsibility. Much is given. Much is required. You have to make sacrifices. Yeah. And you just can't sit in the house. You got to continue to keep moving and keep working and stuff because that's going to help you here. It's not going to solve it, but it's going to help you. Yeah. Going to the radio station Wednesday, Thursday. [35:47] And that Friday, [35:48] uh, really helped me out a lot. It really, really, really helped me out a lot. You know, I had a lot to do. I had a lot of responsibility, had to make sure my other children was, had to make sure my mother was straight. And, um, [36:01] I had to push through it. Yeah. [36:04] Yeah. Good stuff. Good stuff. So something else in the book.

[36:08] But everybody knows this about Ricky Smiley. [36:11] You're the son of Birmingham, bro. [36:13] One of them. Now you are the son. That was old. [36:18] Roy Wood, this Roy Wood Jr. [36:23] You were said, Roy was on the show too. And Ruben Studdard. We are sons of Birmingham. Roy and I, we came from the same radio station, 95.7 Jam. Yep. Yeah. Yep. And you were still Roll Tide. Roll damn Tide. We'll talk about that one another day. Oh, you like George? That's your team. So I'm a Tar Heel and a Bulldog. [36:48] know we come from we hit no much in sports right now but i am a bulldog i had an uncle who played there yeah um [36:54] We're trying to be alright. Y'all going to do something? Y'all going to be back? I don't know. [37:00] That's a whole other conversation. It's a different kind of generation. I don't know. They got to find the right kind of coach to coach [37:11] this generation this is not the nick saving generation and these guys are [37:18] different from the guys that I saw play at Bama. [37:22] Yeah, they're a little different, a little weird. So you got to find somebody that might understand the culture to get them to play because these kids are different and entitled. I'm trying to figure out why the backup to the backup is entitled, though. Like the third stream dude is the first one in the portal. It's like, why? Yeah, they need to get all that tight. But college football is just not the same. No, it's not. It's not. It's not.

[37:52] Well, Rick, man, what all do you have coming up next? What's Ricky working on? [37:57] I think I got some opportunities on, I think, HGTV. I'm still performing all over the country. Right. I do this amazing karaoke night or whatever. My karaoke night is amazing. Where are we doing that at? I think I have the next show in Orlando this Friday. But I kind of do karaoke all over the country. I do it in Nashville, Birmingham, Orlando. Okay. Fort Lauderdale. Here in Atlanta. I love doing karaoke. [38:27] Everything is so much different from a comedy show. It's so much fun. [38:32] I got my grandkids and my twins growing up. [38:36] I'm always looking forward to that. [38:40] Nothing like parenting them, my identical twin daughters. They're so much fun. They give you so much life in my granddaughters and my grandsons. I get a real big kick out of that. Doing the morning show every morning. Probably going to do another comedy special in 2027. I hope y'all like... Foolish. [39:02] out on Hulu is actually a [39:04] funny. I personally like that comedy special. That's my personal favorite comedy special, directed by David and Lynn Talbert, an executive produced by them. I really appreciate that opportunity. So, yeah. [39:18] I have Uncensored coming out on TV1. Okay. A Ricky Smiley Uncensored coming out. I don't know if I can watch it. It's actually pretty good. I probably won't watch it because I don't like watching myself on television. But I did watch Spoodish now. I wanted to sit back and laugh because of jokes. Yes. I watched it for the joke where I can get my laugh on. From beginning to...

[39:41] to it. It's funny. [39:43] it hits hard. Yeah. Right. And that's what I love about Ricky because you give, you give us different, like, [39:50] And this isn't a knock on any comedians by any stretch of imagination because comedy stand up comedy is hard. Right. Period. Period. Right. But there are moments where there's like little lulls. [40:00] In a special... [40:01] The joke didn't quite hit by the comedian. Ricky is playing [40:06] drums, the rhythm, giving it to you. Let's go, baby. Yes, sir. Just so many different opportunities. [40:18] I'm supposed to be doing some stuff with Country Wayne. Wait on him to call me. I really want to do some scenes on Country Wayne's show because I'm a big fan of it. I'm like, I can just bartend. Just have me in the background bartending. I just need to do something with Country Wayne because [40:36] I think skits are hilarious. I would love to do something with Desi Banks or whatever. You know, I just want to have fun, man. I just want to have a great time and make people laugh. And I start to secure my legacy and continue to do good radio. Hey, the legacy is secure, bro. [40:55] I know you, because when it's you, it's hard to see. Your legacy is solidified. I can promise you. I know me in college. [41:05] My same group of homeboys still talk about Lil Daryl to this day. Actually, one of the, Antoine, I'm talking for you. He wants to know, when is Lil Daryl coming back? Like, we need a Lil Daryl special. We need something. We're going to have a birthday party this far for Lil Daryl. Lil Daryl is in his 40s now. He's got a wife and a son. He's married to a heavyset white woman. And he's got a little mixed baby. So we're going to have a birthday party with him. I think he'll be 43 or 44 or something.

[41:35] But I'm throwing a little Darryl birthday party. So make sure y'all come out. Look, Mick Unplug is bringing the cake. We're going to have the birthday cake. That's crazy. A little Darryl. And I still do it on stage. But not in that. I do it in a different way. But it's funny as hell. It is. It is. But my... [41:52] Listen, man, my stand-up comedy right now is so rich. This is the funniest I've ever been. It is. Because I've been through so much. I have so much to talk about. And the funniest part is about getting older and talking about the young generation, how they scare the hell out of us. Yeah. I got some funny stuff. So, you know, if you ever get a chance to see me perform live, man, I give you a show from the beginning to the end. [42:22] Charlotte to the comedy zone from beginning to the end. A whole lot of fun. Absolutely. And, you know, my youngest son is in school in Miami. [42:34] And I was told you're going to be doing a show in Coral Springs sometime this summer. So I'll come through there. [42:41] I'm going to come through. Where are you in school? He's at University of Miami. Okay. He's marine biology. Oh, nice. He can swim. You're on your own. Then hang out with me because I deal with that ocean. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things to do is to be out on the ocean and I swim with sharks and stingrays and all that stuff, man. I love the ocean. I watch y'all. Yeah. I'm out there. I get my ankles in and then I'm like, all right, good. I'm going to go back

[43:11] I'm a swimmer. I dive off into that deep blue ocean and swim, man. I just I just thank God ain't got ate up. Yes. Not going to. All right. I'm going to get you out of here on this. Well, first again. [43:28] We're going to zoom in here. The first 50 people that messaged me sideshow. [43:32] I'm getting you a copy of the book. You all know I do that anyway. You knew I named the book Sideshow. [43:37] No. Did you ever know why? No. All right. So the name Sideshow came from the song Sideshow. Okay. Okay. [43:46] by Blue Magic. [43:48] Let the side show begin. [43:51] Hurry, hurry. Step right on in. Can't afford to pass it by, but guaranteed to make you cry. So Sideshow, the song is about a clown that's performing, but he's sad. [44:06] on the inside. That's what sideshow. That's why I got the [44:11] the topic, but all the trials and tribulations that's going on in my life and the things that I have happening that's going on and still have the ability to go on stage and perform and get on the radio and make people laugh like, why are you crying on it? I used to cry during a commercial break, doing a radio show. Go and cry it out and come back and crack jokes or whatever. That's my job. Right. So that's where the topic, I mean the title,

[44:41] Now I like it. I like it. So first 50 people getting a copy. If you're number 51, you're [44:47] go to amazon go to barnes and nobles go to your local uh [44:52] Bookstore? Support Local 2? [44:54] But get the book. [44:56] I can promise you it's going to change your life. It's changed my life. If you [45:02] are grieving, [45:03] You definitely need it because it's going to help you. It helped me prepare for, [45:08] Which, again... [45:09] Bro, like there's some fundamental principles in here that you go through that. That's amazing. So thank you. Everybody go get this book. [45:16] My last question for Ricky Smiley is this, though. [45:19] I know you cook, you throw down. Oh, yeah. [45:23] When I cook Easter, don't you buy that? Yes. [45:26] Oh, yeah. [45:27] Chicken and dumplings [45:29] Collard greens out of my garden that I grew. Okay. [45:33] macaroni and cheese, the Bahamas style macaroni and cheese. You haven't had macaroni and cheese unless you had it in the Bahamas or Jamaica. Bahamians make good [45:46] macaroni and cheese. And they don't just do cheese. They season their macaroni and cheese. It's like when you can swallow it and still taste it, that's good macaroni and cheese because it's seasoned. I did gumbo. [46:00] Yeah, I always have to add gumbo or whatever, you know, because I'm a fan of, you know, Cajun cuisine, lobster bisque. [46:09] I did lamb chops. We had a

[46:13] dressing chicken [46:15] turkey wings, smoked turkey necks, and had it all [46:20] Laid out my mom bought some potatoes out because I don't let anybody bring nothing. I don't like people bringing. Right. Just don't bring nothing. Everything is here. That's me. Come in there with all that aluminum foil. That's me. Pans and crock pots. Right. It make my nerves bad. You're messing up the order. I have a tight, tight little menu. That's what it is. Yep. I just, my mama said, I did forget to make the pinto beans. I was going to make some pinto beans. [46:50] big Easter dinner and the day before that the Easter Bunny came Peter Cottontail came through hung out with the kids we did a little Easter egg Easter and Thanksgiving is a really big deal at my house so yeah the food was good and do I want to open up a restaurant absolutely not after what y'all did to Miss Tina what y'all did the Gladys Knight and having all these bloggers show up to judge your food and criticize [47:20] and Todd and anybody that open up a restaurant, y'all want to go in there and make videos. I would never. Now, if I do a restaurant, the days that I decide to cook, I'll send out an email to people that I want to come. Because you'll fill it up anyway. I'm going to invite people that I want to come, but I would never open up to get publicly humiliated the way they did. I don't care if the food, the gumbo or whatever was not good. For you to go on

[47:50] and [47:51] and just do stuff like that to people. I've seen people do that with candy. I've seen people do it to sweetie pies. Every time I went in all of these establishments, the food was good. Everybody, gumbo is different or whatever. By the way, gumbo is not just about the root. It's the seasoning and the how. Anyway, that's a whole other podcast show on gumbo because I'm trained by executive chef. Shout out to my, to Kurt Boudreau. [48:21] You know, who really spent a lot of time in the kitchen. I spent a lot of time in the kitchen with him learning how to cook and prepare food like an executive chef. I'm not talking about a caterer. It's the difference between a caterer and an executive chef. [48:35] chef. We are learning today. I'm learning from him like cutting exercises and all of the stuff and why's and the do's and the don't. A lot of people don't know so I learned a lot of stuff. But what I'm on right now is my seafood pot pie. I made it for the first time. It was a hit. Yeah man. I'm going to make a seafood pot pie and I'll make sure you get one. I want you to make a video. And on the top I did the crust [49:05] I used the cheddar biscuit from Red Lobster. You could buy it in a box and make the biscuit and you put it on top of the seafood pot pie. You got some out there? I wish I did because I'm so hungry right now. I am too. I can taste it. It's tasty. I could really use it right now. So I put a little, you know, the shrimp. But people don't understand the importance of just making sure that you get the seafood flavor or whatever. I'm really getting really, really, really good with seafood.

[49:35] my taste palette and really get in the kitchen to cook. [49:38] But I will make a recipe book to teach you how to cook it. But I'll never open up a restaurant for you to come in there and cuss me out, cuss my employees out. I'll push over cash registers and all that kind of stuff. Want to come in there, dress wrong because you can't tell nobody how to dress. If you come in a rink and smile, you're going to be dressed for dinner. Yeah. You know, I'm a classy person. [50:01] And I was raised with class and I don't want to deal with the public because everybody don't have the same home training. [50:08] You got that right. You got that. I know I said a whole lot. No, no. So I... [50:14] I don't know if this is meant [50:16] for me to tell you, but I'm telling you anyway, Cooking with Ricky Smiley. I don't know if that's the book. I don't know if that's an Instagram show or channel. I don't know if it's a TV show, YouTube, whatever. If I get me a sous chef, I'll do it. If I get some cameras, I'm going to do that one day. That's a good idea. People have been telling me for years, I'm going to do a Cooking with Ricky Smiley and then have guests on or whatever. But I happen to have me a couple of sous chefs because cutting up all those onions and those bell peppers. I had a cooking show [50:46] but man when you start [50:48] prepping and you got to do it. Didn't you? [50:50] you got to shoot then you got to clean up the kitchen yeah man that's a lot it's a clean up for two hundred dollars an episode you heard it here first cooking with ricky smiley yes if you want to be a shoot a sous chef yeah send your resume don't just think you're gonna show up like i will i will vet the resume for you please i i got you coming ricky brother i love you man thank you so much for everything you've meant for me ladies and gentlemen he's ricky smiley i would

[51:20] You know how to find them. But most importantly, get the book. Sideshow, get the book. Thank you, man. You got it. That's another powerful conversation on Mick Unplugged. If this episode moved you, and I'm sure it did, follow the show wherever you listen. Share it with someone who needs that spark. And leave a review so more people can find their because. I'm Rudy Rush. And until next time, stay driven, stay focused, and stay unplugged.