Melissa Ann Shepard: The Internet Black Widow

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[01:35] We were just watching, if you're not following Marty Miller on TikTok, you made a great mistake. Truly, I don't know how to describe it. [01:43] His content? It's indescribable in the best way. But I... [01:47] urge you to go listen to it. I have been sending you those TikToks for years at this point. He will just be like, shout out to you, girl, on top of your head. This is looking awesome today. He's phenomenal. And we were just watching the one that he did, Alayna found it, after the America's Next Top Model doc, which we just watched, and you know it's going to be a bonus app. Oh, [02:10] Guys, I have so much to say, and I won't say it here and now because we are we're getting ready to film the bonus episode or to record the bonus episode. I'm sorry. I said film. I shouldn't have said that. We're not filming. We're not filming that one. Maybe in the future. Maybe we should. And we should smize through it. Oh, my God. Just smize the entire time. I don't think I can smize. [02:29] Try. She actually just smiled like forcefully at me. I said, that's not it. No, that's not it. On top of your head. No, it was a trip. [02:43] Yeah. In my opinion... [02:46] uh i think the only people that looked came out good in that documentary were the contestants yeah personally yeah so i can't wait to talk about it i have so much to say we can't even get too far into it but go follow marty miller on tiktok and watch that tiktok on top of your head and listen to what he says about it hot ice cream i say darn i love him so much oh anything else you want to talk about big red uh big red big red on top of your head you should buy the butcher

[03:16] You should pre-order it. Duh. Yeah. Butcherlegacy.com. You can get it anywhere. I signed 2,000 more copies for Barnes & Noble, so go get those. What a casual fucking feat to address. 2,000 more, babes. So go get those. You have a wrist still? I have them in front of me. That's another thing. Your wrists? I do. I have my wrists in front of me. I have a stack of Tippins in front of me that I'm signing as we do this. Some people have asked, like, are they... [03:42] actually signed yes i i swear to you they're actually i should just every now and again when you're doing it just film videos of you and then we can we can comp all yeah these aren't one of those things where they get like matt like mass produced with like a signature on it i have a giant i've six giant boxes of tippins uh yeah so they're really signed just so you know i've had a couple of those questions and i just wanted to clear that up i just want to clear the iron [04:12] It's great. I am going to start listening, too, because let me clear something up. I've read all the books, except the third one. I haven't read that one yet. But I want to redo them, and I'm going to listen to the audiobook, because it's been highly suggested for Butcher and the Wren and The Butcher Game. They're pretty great. Because I heard Joe and Sophie are next level. So I'm going to listen. Yeah, I highly suggest. [04:36] is mikey whistling because i'll kill him for that yes [04:39] One thing about me, do you ever, do you get like rage about things that don't make sense? Yeah, you do. I was going to say, have you met me? I hate, I've probably addressed it before. I hate whistling. I whistle all the time, so I can't. I feel like I've never even heard you whistle. I do it all the time. Do you know that I hate it, so you don't do it in front of me? Maybe deep in my soul, I know that. That's nice. Drew whistles, and I literally, I'm like, stop it. That's so funny. Whistling does not have any effect on me. I just hate it.

[05:09] That's, that's, [05:10] That's a thing. [05:11] It's a thing. I had a boss that used to whistle for me. So, like, not in a hot way. In a, like, I need you to come do this way. Is there a hot way to whistle at you? [05:21] No, well, I was saying, like, how people would be like... Like, he wasn't sexually harassing me, just to be clear. Yeah. But it was more like, come do this. And I was like, ugh. And you were like, fuck you, bitch. I don't want to work. Oh, you were better at it. [05:38] You didn't say, fuck you, bitch. No. Uh, no. Uh, no. No. All right. Yeah, I don't think there's... I'm trying to think... Oh! What? This is just another personal thing. What's up? Um... [05:49] I I'm very late to the party. [05:51] on this, but I have to say it. I finally got to sit down and watch Sinners. Me and John have been wanting to watch it for fucking months and months and months. And the girls had a sleepover with Auntie Titi. And so we were like, oh my god, we can watch a two hour movie. And so we watched it. I cannot stress it enough if you have not seen Sinners or you didn't think you wanted to see it, you want to see it. I knew that I wanted to see it and I just kept not seeing it and I still haven't seen it. [06:20] It is one of the most incredible movies I have ever seen. I am still thinking about it. Is it, like, super scary? It's scary. Is it gory? It's gory, but, like... I don't care about those things, but I have to know what I can watch with Drew and what I can. Yeah, it's scary in the best... Because they handle vampires in one of those places. Oh, I didn't know it was vampires. Yeah, there's vampires involved. There's... The music in it is fucking phenomenal. Is it, like, jazz? Oh, it's a mix of all different...

[06:50] Thank you. [06:50] There's one scene in particular, and I'm sure you guys know what scene I'm talking about, where they just meld all these different music genres and music time periods all together. [07:01] We were like jaws on the floor. Really? Like, it's one of those movies that when it's over, you're just like... [07:06] How was I allowed to watch that? Really? That was so good. I'm like, what the fuck? I want them to win all the Oscars. Damn. I think they should win all the Oscars. Michael B. Jordan was fucking amazing. Really? Really? [07:19] Um, [07:20] One me Musaku, I believe that's how you say her name. She plays Annie in the in the movie. [07:27] I was literally obsessed with her. Really? Like... I just keep saying, really? Really? I'm like, for real? Are you sure about that? And who is the guy who plays Remick? He plays one of the vampires, and I... [07:41] He literally killed it. Jack O'Connell. They all... I mean, Buddy Guy is in it. Jamie Lawson was amazing. Delroy Lindo. It's just like... It's like Jack... It's like... [07:54] chocker block full of these fucking phenomenal actors and musicians and i'm just i i can't i now i get it i get that like i knew because whenever there's like that much hype you're always like is it can it be that good you should think it's under hyped really like you should why can't i stop saying really i need to pick a different one really really really you should pick it for scream i think i'm going to because i need to watch it because it's very current [08:19] Yeah, and it's just, everybody needs to watch it. Yeah, if you're not listening to Scream, go listen to Scream. Yeah. Perhaps she'll have that be her next movie pick. Maybe I'll pick that, because Frankenstein and Sinners...

[08:29] are right at the top. Wow. Okay. So you're comparing it to Frankenstein in terms of like liking it. Yeah. Oh, she's very different movies. So I can't compare them, but they're right there. They're your tops right now. [08:39] So good. Yeah, I gotta watch that. Yeah, I'm highly, highly, highly recommend. Obsessed. Yeah, I'll watch. Oh, also, we discovered just really quickly that I can't ever see Chicago. Yeah, no. Can't ever see Chicago. I think last episode, I was like, oh my god, I'm going to New York this weekend. I'm gonna have so much fun. I can't wait to see Chicago. Nope, didn't get to see it. No, something is cursed about Chicago with Ash and Drew, and they can never see it. So don't ever invite them to it. Don't ever invite us. We were supposed to have seen Chicago three times now. [09:09] feline acne struck again and we couldn't leave franklin with his acne because it can get infected feline acne is nuts it can get infected i believe it it just sounds so funny no like we can't leave franklin with his acne it's ridiculous it's a ridiculous way to live but here we are and here we are he's good don't worry yeah we took him to the vet he's killing it so but we had to stay home and i was i was honestly so bummed like i wasn't mad at franklin but i was so excited for new york yeah because i feel like a part-time new yorker lately i know we've been there a lot lately we've [09:39] and I broke the streak. You did. [09:41] how dare you really sad but you know what i lived franklin lived and i lived i laughed i loved yeah i did on top of my head on top of my head so i have a case for you i that's great because that is why we're here that is in fact why we're here um i did do my job which is nice nobody had to whistle at me about it i love that i was going to you were gonna do it don't i hate whistling were you just whistling out there

[10:05] No? [10:06] Maybe it was John. Was it John whistling? Maybe. Damn. Yeah. It was a jaunty whistle. I thought it was. It was. It had theater kid energy. I'll count down that. I love that. All right. So we are going to be talking today about Melissa Ann Shepard, who is known as the Internet Black Widow. Whoa. Yeah. Okay. This is a... [10:26] interesting case it's a really sad case because a lot of like people were taken advantage of in the later years of their life which is the worst time i think to be well it's always a bad time to be taken advantage of but but there's something like inherently sad when like an elderly person or someone in like the later years of their life gets taken advantage of yeah because like at that point you're just supposed to be like living you know like enjoying the fruits of your labor yeah and just chilling and not having uh an internet black widow take advantage of you don't [10:55] So let's get into it. Let's do it. In the fall of 2012, so pretty recently, actually, sort of. Doesn't that feel like it was like last week? That's still very recent to me. It is. In the fall of 2012, Fred Weeks was still mourning the loss of his wife of 54 years. But he decided it was time to move forward in his life. He wanted to start dating again or at least thinking about it. And it was then that he met Melissa Ann Russell. She was a 78-year-old woman who moved in four doors down from him in a retirement community. [11:25] And this was in New Glasgow, Nova Scotia. A few days later, Melissa knock, knock, knocked on Fred's door. And he told reporters, she just wanted to know if I was lonesome, the same she was. He was, in fact, lonesome. And they hit it off and started a whirlwind romance. It sounds like such a me-cute. It would be. So a few weeks into Fred and Melissa's relationship, Fred called his longtime friend George to be like,

[11:48] Yo, I have fallen in love. That's like verbatim what he said. It's a quote. He said he and Millie wanted to get married as soon as possible because this whirlwind romance was whirlwinding. That's cute. It is cute. George, the friend, later told CBS News they were kind of bubbly. Kind of bubbly. Kind of bubbly. Now listen, George was the justice of the peace. So Fred was like, will you perform the ceremony? And George said, hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah. [12:18] "'for the ceremony. They were happy at the time, or at least Fred was and Millie appeared to be.' [12:24] Oh, man. [12:26] So after the ceremony, they immediately left for their honeymoon, and George was like, [12:30] Have the best time. So happy to have done this favor for you. I love love. Hell yeah. [12:35] But the next day, George got a call from somebody who had pretty alarming news. George told reporters years later, I got a call from a lady who asked me if I knew who Millie was. And I said, yeah, I do. She's Millie Ann Russell. Obviously. Then she asked me if I'd ever seen a program on the Fifth Estate called Black Widow. Now, the Fifth Estate is like an investigative news show over in Canada. [12:58] And George was like, no, I haven't seen that, but I guess I should go check it out. Oh, boy. So he didn't know it at the time, but he had just sent his friend off on a honeymoon with a notorious felon and convicted killer. [13:12] That's not what you want to find out the day after. [13:15] that performing a ceremony that's the thing the day after you performed this ceremony and said like do you take you not nice by the power vested in me live your best damn life yeah that's not great shout me out doing one soon just kidding so after familiarizing himself with the fifth estate episode george learned that millie was in fact melissa ann shepherd who was a notorious black widow and she was also known to have killed at least one of her husbands in addition to committing

[13:44] So George tried to call up Fred and warn him, but they had already left for the boat for Newfoundland. So he called the police instead and insisted that they needed to warn his friend somehow. He said, I wanted Fred to know the situation he might be in, you know, he could be in danger. [14:00] But unfortunately, and I'm sure you're all thinking this, the police explained since Melissa hadn't done anything or like committed any crimes against Fred and she had already served her time for previous charges, they couldn't get involved. There's nothing they can do. They can't just be like, knock, knock, warning. You married a felon. [14:16] So four days later, Fred and Melissa were on a boat headed on their honeymoon, and Fred started to feel dizzy. Oh, no. Yeah. He was still unwell when they reached their hotel and went to lay down, but he woke up a few hours later, and he was still dizzy. And soon after, he collapsed and had to be rushed to the nearest hospital on their honeymoon. Poor Fred. [14:46] system, despite having no memory of taking either of those drugs. [14:51] Hmm. [14:52] When medical staff asked Melissa about Fred's medical history, she said that he had prostate problems, bowel surgery, and that he was suffering from dementia and chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder. [15:03] COPD. Yeah, but I didn't even know that. Check you out. But when those same providers tried to confirm this with Fred, he was like, I don't have any of those things. Oh, no. But also, they're just being told that he has dementia. So they're like, does he not know that he has these things? Or does he not have these things? What? What the fuck? Two days later, Nova Scotia police arrested Melissa and charged her with attempted murder and administering a noxious

[15:33] And also, was that administering a noxious thing? [15:36] Yeah. [15:37] Why does that sound so funny? It does, doesn't it? I'm charging you with administering a noxious thing. Whenever I look at the word noxious and I say it, I always feel like I'm saying it wrong. No, you just sounded so funny, like a noxious thing. Yeah, a noxious thing. I don't know why that was so funny. Don't do that. Now, so he's just sent home to recover from all of that. [15:57] But also, he's still married to this woman. Yeah. And is like, what the fuck just happened? Who might have just tried to... [16:04] To do something. To kill him. Yeah. Like, allegedly. Yeah, allegedly. So while in custody, Melissa admitted to investigators that she had, quote, dissolved both medications and coffee and then given them to Fred over a period of time in the days leading up to his hospitalization. What the? [16:19] fuck so this this wasn't just a one-time thing she was doing this for days on end and she's just like yeah yeah i did that i did do that yeah she said that she had done so without his knowledge [16:29] Wow. So she admitted that. She admitted that. She did. She did that. She did that. [16:35] So through their interviews with friends and people who had had contact with the couple in the previous two months, investigators started to recognize a pattern. Fred did actually seem to be experiencing periodic dizziness and brain fog in even like before they got married. But when he would go to a hospital for treatment and was away from Melissa, he'd instantly get better. [16:56] Wow. [16:57] On the day of their wedding, Fred actually almost drove his car off the road when he just inexplicably became confused and disoriented.

[17:06] The day of their wedding, he was potentially drugged. Holy shit. He later said, I almost went over the bank because my foot wasn't doing what my brain should be telling it to stay on the road. [17:16] Oh, that must have been so scary. Yeah. Now, for investigators, obviously, the pieces all started to come together when they searched Melissa and Fred's hotel room and discovered on a notepad the words lawyer, power of attorney and will written down. What? [17:32] Yeah. Could you be any more like obvious writing of attorney post-it notes about what's going on? [17:40] apparently damn so she admitted to drugging fred but melissa stopped well short of confessing to attempted murder and the prosecutor didn't really have any evidence that that was her intention per se babe what else would be i know but it's a i know i need a lot to take it to court yeah so as a result the crown agreed to withdraw the charge of attempted murder and they amended the second charge to like we said administering a noxious thing with intent to aggrieve or annoy a person [18:10] That annoyed me. I like that that's a charge. That's like an actual thing. It's like you annoyed someone. Yeah. Your intent was to annoy someone. It's rude. It's rude. So that was going to be the charge, and that would be in exchange for a guilty plea and a three-and-a-half-year sentence. [18:26] Wow. So obviously, Melissa accepted that deal. Obviously. Now, remarkably, when he was asked how he felt about the arrest and the plea deal, Fred appeared to actually have no ill will towards his now ex-wife. Eventually, they did divorce.

[18:38] Guys. In the days leading up to the sentencing, he told a reporter, people want her hung up from a tree and cut to pieces. I'm just very glad to have it all over with and have it come to an end. I'm not worried about what she gets. Whatever she gets is what the judge will give her, and that's what she deserves. Fred is the chillest. Fred is big chillin'. Fred chills to the max. Poor Fred loses his wife. Yeah. Finally gets back out there, and this is the first woman he [19:08] back out there. I'm hanging up my suspenders at that point. We're not going out on the town anymore. No. I would say we're going to go ahead and watch a lot of television. We're getting a hobby. I was just going to say we're going to pick a hobby. Perhaps we'll crochet. Yeah. Maybe sour dough. Yeah. Sourdough. Sourdough, if you will. Perhaps. [19:26] But yeah. [19:27] So under normal circumstances, an elderly woman attempting to poison her husband would have garnered a pretty small amount of attention from the press. Yeah. You know, unfortunately, those things don't really get a lot of heat on them. It would have faded away. A larger story would have come along. La-di-da-doo. But in this case, it didn't take long for the press to learn that this wasn't the first time Melissa had been suspected or convicted of attempted murder. Oops. She actually had a criminal history in two countries that went back decades. Holy shit. Including a lot of crimes that were very similar to this one that she had just perpetrated. [19:57] only with a much worse outcome. Oh, no.

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[23:39] Russell Shepard walked out on her and that left her with nothing. Whoa. So obviously like it, even if it was good at one point, it got real bad. Something went awry. Something happened. [23:49] Now, among the residents of Prince Edward Island who remembered her from those days, few, if any, had nice things to say about Melissa. The general consensus on the island was, as far back as anybody could remember, Melissa thought that she was better than most everybody on the island and thought that she was entitled to more. And she hadn't really earned any of that. [24:08] That's the problem there is when you think it needs to be just handed to you. Exactly. Now, whether out of desperation or some other reason, after her divorce, she turned to crime as a primary source of income. And between 1977 and 1991. [24:22] She racked up more than 30 convictions for fraud and other financial crimes under four different aliases. Holy shit. Yeah, there was Melissa. Truly. Also, I don't know when people have this many aliases, how they keep track of it. [24:36] That's the thing. And the fraud of it all always gets me because I'm like... [24:43] That's so much work. It's a lot of work. So much admin. [24:48] So much keeping up with shit. Yeah. [24:50] You could just get a job. You could. And it would probably be less work than the fraud. Because then you could just bring your stuff to TurboTax and file. Yeah. Legally. Like the fraud is just... [25:00] Too much work. Actually, the first thing we said when we hired accountants was we don't want to go to federal prison. Yeah, they said, what are your goals here? And we said not to go to federal prison. Not to commit fraud. That's literally it. [25:09] I just would like to not commit fraud. I would like to pay what I'm supposed to pay. Yeah. Fraud nobody and live a life out of federal prison. Just please do that. And not have an alias. Yeah. And I think they appreciated the honesty. They said,

[25:22] They said, we'll do that. Sounds good. They said, we'll file your taxes. Melissa didn't talk to any of these people, though. She did not have those desires. Instead, she came up with all her different aliases. There was Melissa Ann Weeks, Melissa Ann Friedrich, I think, Melissa Ann Shepard, and Melissa Ann Stewart. Oh, okay. So she's always Melissa Ann. Yeah, she loves first name, middle name. Last name is where it gets hairy. Yeah. So she ended up serving a five-year sentence in a Toronto prison for some of those scams. [25:52] But in 1991, she saw an opportunity for a new scam when she met a man named Gordon Stewart. He was a Prince Edward Island native whose circumstances would eventually sound very familiar in the context of Melissa's life. [26:06] So Gordon Stewart, like I said, there's a lot of sadness to this. Gordon. Gordon, I know. He lost his wife in 1989. And since then, he had obviously been struggling with grief. His sister, Kate Reeves, said, I thought it would be so wonderful if he found someone. The sooner, the better. So when he met Melissa a few years later, they couldn't have been happier, his family. They were like, awesome. Like, he's been so lonely and he's been in the thick of it. This could take him out of it. Unfortunately, though, it didn't take long before Gordon's family started to question. [26:36] intentions with their brother or their loved one. And they got more and more concerned when they started to hear rumors around town about Melissa. His sister, Kate, again, she said, we had heard that she had been in a lot of trouble with the law and a member of the police force told my husband, tell Gordy to get away from her. She's trouble. Okay, so you got to listen to that. Yeah. And the Reeves and Stewart families were right to be concerned. Although she was technically still married to Shepard in Canada, after just a few weeks of dating, Melissa and Gordon eloped to

[27:06] Vegas. And soon after, Gordon's life took a turn for the worst. Oh, no. For reasons that are still pretty unclear, though almost certainly related to this relationship with Melissa, Gordon started gambling and drinking heavily, which quickly led to obviously financial problems. And that doesn't sound like that was his. It was not his typical character. Not at all. On at least one occasion when he needed medical treatment following, you know, kind of weeks and weeks of this behavior, [27:36] why these drugs were in his system, which sounds familiar. It sure does. So in mid-1991, the couple moved to Halifax, and Gordon hoped that the change of environment maybe would get things back on track again. [27:46] But things only got worse from there. [27:48] His drinking got worse. And while he never seemed like what we were just saying to have money problems before, he was hemorrhaging money at this point at a rate that didn't seem to make sense at all. And the only explanation for all of it was Melissa. Melissa, what are you doing? Well, in a letter written shortly before his death, he detailed his life with Melissa, how she drained their bank account, lied and cheated. He said, I took her back. I still loved her and kept hoping things would change. [28:18] moving to Halifax, tragedy struck. [28:21] So one night while Gordon and Melissa were out in a very rural area, he was struck and killed by his own car while Melissa was behind the wheel. [28:30] No, there are different and very conflicting reports about this. So I'm just going to tell you what we have here. Melissa reported the death to the police claiming that and this is just what she claims that Gordon had attacked her and raped her. So she said she ran him over with the car in order to flee the scene and that it was self defense.

[28:50] Wow. The problem, though, and this is investigators problem. As soon as they started looking into the case, nothing Melissa said about the scene made a lot of sense. For one thing, when an autopsy was performed on Gordon, test showed a quote unquote lethal dose of various drugs in his system at the time of death, which meant that not only would he have been too sedated to pose a threat to anyone, he almost certainly wouldn't have been able to drive a car either. [29:20] Yeah. Yeah. [29:33] So the more that Jerry Swain investigated, the less he believed Melissa's story. Gordon Stewart didn't have any history of violence. He didn't have any criminal history. And there was no evidence to support her claim that she had been raped. [29:47] Uh, her claim that she had hit him with the car in order to escape was also pretty suspicious. In Melissa's version of events, after Gordon assaulted her, he got out of the car and walked around the back of the vehicle to use the bathroom, and that's when she jumped in the driver's seat and put the car in reverse. [30:05] hitting and killing her husband before fleeing. [30:08] which, like, you didn't need to put the car in reverse. Yeah, I was going to say, what was the reverse about? All she would have done to escape the scene was put the car in drive and go forward. [30:16] meaning the only way that she could have hit and killed him was if she had done so intentionally and unnecessarily. And that's investigators opinion on this case. Yeah, that is not our opinion. No. So it didn't take long for Swain to determine that Melissa had fabricated her story and his belief, and she was arrested and charged with manslaughter. He said, as a result of the full investigation, we determined that the motive was monetary. Gordon Stewart had a regular pension from the Department of Defense, and as his wife, she was entitled to his benefits.

[30:46] ended up going on trial for the death of her husband or for the murder of her husband in 1992. [30:52] And she ultimately was found guilty of manslaughter, but sentenced to two years in prison. What are we doing? Two years in prison. What are we doing here? Hello? Two years for manslaughter? Yup. The fuck? So upon her release from prison in 1994, which was literally just like a whoop, blip in time. She found a new scheme pretty quickly and a viable means of making some money. [31:22] activists who saw her as a perfect example of a woman who had been punished for what they argued was nothing more than protecting herself from an abusive husband. [31:31] So throughout the late 80s and early 90s in North America, there was this concept, which we've obviously heard of, the battered wife syndrome. And it was also referred also called battered woman syndrome. And it had been gaining a lot of traction in, you know, medical professionals, legal professionals. And they were using it as a way to explain a range of behaviors and symptoms pretty similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder, especially in women who had been victims of violence. [32:01] Where a wife or an intimate partner was accused of murdering or physically harming their supposed abuser. Okay. Or their alleged abuser. Having been convicted of killing a man that she claimed had been abusive and violently sexually assaulting her, she seemed an ideal spokesperson for the movement at this point in time. Yeah. And she quickly became a popular speaker on the lecture circuit. Wow.

[32:23] In 1994, she actually appeared in a documentary about domestic violence, and she described the night of the murder. This is her words. She said he had a knife in his hand. He told me he was going to kill me, but first he was going to take me somewhere. Later on, early that evening, we went into this road. It was like a logging road in the woods. [32:41] This is triggering trigger warning for sexual assault. She said he raped me at knife point and then he got out of the car and walked around behind the car. He had to urinate. So I saw that as my chance to get away. [32:52] Wow. So the description that she gave in the documentary was pretty much the same one that she gave to police on the night of the murder. It sounds like harrowing as an actual story. And it does. But it doesn't account for any of the inconsistencies that resulted in her conviction. And. [33:07] But the producers didn't really raise any questions. So it got out there. Yeah. But after a few years on the lecture circuit, she moved to Florida in [redacted address] to live in Christian retreat. [33:20] Among the community leaders was Robert Friedrich. He was an 81-year-old retired electrical engineer who had lost his wife of 53 years, Mary, earlier that same year. [33:32] His son Dennis told a reporter in 2005, dad was the proud stoic German type, and he was referring to his father's tendency to keep his feelings to himself. He said, we didn't know how lost he really was, which is just heartbreaking. So to fill his time and occupy his mind, Robert threw himself into volunteering with the church, which is where he met Melissa Ann Shepard.

[33:55] In 2012, Melissa told reporters, [34:10] Okay. [34:12] Quotes. Yikes. So after struggling with the loss of his wife to cancer, by the way, she passed of cancer. Robert was very excited to have met somebody new. And within a few days of meeting, Melissa and Robert were engaged to be married. [34:24] Wow. [34:25] I think like the older you get, the less, you know, like you don't have as much time. I was going to say, you're not going to have a long engagement. You're prone to adventure. Yeah. You're not going to have a ton of, you know, courting time. Right. Exactly. If it feels right, maybe it's right. Feels right. We're in our 80s. In this case, it was not right. Yeah. So when Robert told his children about his plans to marry Melissa so soon after having met her, obviously they were pretty stunned. Yeah. You know, nervous about this. Dennis told his father, at best, she's a kook. At worst, she's a gold digger. [34:55] But Robert just chuckled and he said, I like to keep my options open. Which I was like, you're an icon. Wow. So obviously they were apprehensive about their father's new girlfriend, but Dennis himself tried to be respectful. He remembered he felt, speaking about his dad, that he was going to be taken care of. He had a bride. He wasn't going to be alone anymore. Aww. And also you have to think, like, this is a generation who has, like, always been with somebody romantically usually. You have 54 years or something like that? You're so used to connection.

[35:25] years 24 7 you're around them so then to be all by yourself like that's a lot to swallow [35:31] Yeah. So a month later, in June of 2000, Robert and Melissa were married and immediately set off on their cross-country honeymoon, which ended with a luxury cruise to the Caribbean, all at Robert's expense. Once they returned, Melissa moved into Robert's home in Brandonton, Florida. And not long after, Robert's children started noticing troubles and changes to their father's health. Oh, man. Yeah. This isn't coincidence. [35:58] No, it's not. Robert was 81 years old, like I said, when he married Melissa. [36:03] And his health had already begun to decline at that point. It was natural for somebody his age. But after the wedding, there were new health problems that Dennis and his siblings just hadn't seen before. Now... [36:14] And this will sound interesting to you. Robert was experiencing periods of dizziness without any apparent explanation for why he would be dizzy. And he started falling. [36:25] So obviously the new symptoms were concerning in and of themselves, but equally concerning was another pattern that the kids started to notice, his children. Whenever Robert was home, he seemed to be in poor health. But as soon as he went to the hospital for treatment, he would get better. Which is to be expected, obviously, like you do get better when you get treatment, but it was a marked difference. Yeah. It's like kids with the croup. Yes. Yes. [36:48] they sound like they're dying and then you get them outside in the cold air and get them into the er and you're like i swear they were sounding horrific right which like that at least could be accounted for like that makes sense yeah this didn't really make that much sense no so dennison his wife noticed something similar whenever robert would come to visit them at their home in boston so this wasn't just like oh you're getting medical treatment and you're responding yeah it was like

[37:11] Whenever you're not home, you're thriving, but at home, you're not at all. [37:16] Dennis said if he came up here and visited, he'd be fine. But if we talked to him on the telephone, he'd sound dopey. So we became suspicious. Oh, my God. Can you imagine being his kids? No. I can't imagine suspecting what they're suspecting right now. Especially after, you have to think, too, they're grieving their mother. Yeah. [37:34] And now having to face this woman. And their parents obviously had, like, a long, happy marriage. Yeah. [37:41] They're all grieving. And then all of a sudden he's met someone and now all of a sudden he's sick whenever he's around her. Yeah. Scary. I would lose my mind. I can't imagine it. Ooh. Ooh. I would get fired up. Why I oughta. Why I oughta, indeed. So obviously they were worried that Melissa was abusing or taking advantage of their father. So Dennis filed a complaint with the Florida Elder Abuse Commission. Good for him. Which was very smart. Dennis is like, I gotta say, Dennis from the beginning of the story is like the kid you want to have. Truly. Like he really is. [38:11] He was a little sus at first, but he said, you know what? He tried to be respectful. And I'm going to be into this for him. But now he's taking action. Yeah. He said, listen, as soon as I see something weird... [38:22] I'm calling it out. I see something. I say something. So the Elder Abuse Commission opened an investigation and ultimately recommended that Robert receive round the clock in home care from a qualified provider. Yeah. [38:34] But Melissa outright refused to allow that. [38:37] Okay, that's that's a crimson flag. That's crimson. That's the reddest of flags. So the agency pushed back and they said, no, this would really be good for Robert. Like, we really highly recommend him around. She threatened Melissa threatened allegedly to file a lawsuit against them. So they backed off and they closed the case.

[38:56] Wow. A few days later, Robert's son, Bob, received a vaguely, quote unquote, vaguely threatening message from Melissa. She said, hello, Bob, this is Melissa calling. I have something to share with you this morning. Your father and I are going to see a lawyer. We've made an appointment and your father is going to change his will. He's going to leave all the money to me and the portion he set aside for you and your two brothers. That portion is now going to the Christian retreat and you are getting nothing. A big fat zero. [39:26] and have a nice day. [39:29] I... [39:30] would [39:31] Have lost my mind. [39:34] Mind when I tell you... [39:37] she would catch these hands i don't care how old she is she would catch it's these mother very reminiscent of beat your grandpa's ass it's very represent rep honestly if i were them like that is the black widow and the internet black widow's ass that is try that on for size okay meredith [40:07] Mommy dearest? The fuck? [40:10] God damn. Meanwhile, you've known this woman for like months and you're like, where's my mom? I would. Like, where's my mom? Like, what the... [40:21] I'm shook. And what do you do? I'm almost speechless here because like the rage that would flow within me, I can't even tap into that. Not only try that on for size, but a big fat zero. I'll tell you about a big fat. How are you still a fucking mean girl in your goddamn golden years, in your twilight years? How are you still a mean girl? How do you still mean girl energy?

[40:51] perseveres, unfortunately. If mingle energy goes past high school, it does. It does. A lot of times. Oh, I know. Trust me. I encounter it almost daily. I get it. But it shouldn't. [41:04] And it's much more a reflection on that person. 78-year-old woman, mean girl energy is heinous. Yeah, that's rancid. Well, you know... [41:13] I've encountered it. Oh, yeah. Not like this, though. I mean, this is pretty intense. No, this is these poor kids. Yeah, this poor family. And poor Robert. He obviously is not in his right mind making these decisions. He's being taken advantage of. Exactly. By that time, Melissa had convinced Robert to change his will and to make her the beneficiary of his nine insurance policies, among other things. Fuck. [41:37] More importantly, the tension between Melissa and Robert's children caused a rift between him and his family, and now he was rarely speaking to them in these final moments of his life. [41:48] Dennis's wife, his son Dennis's wife, Karen, said, It became evident that we did not like her, and she did not like us, so they all kept their distance. And unfortunately, in 2002, Robert died, having never really repaired the rift between himself and his kids. Oh, that breaks my heart. [42:07] Robert had indeed left all of his money to Melissa and his church community. [42:11] And they soon learned that their father's estate had actually become far smaller than they remembered it being in the year since his marriage, dropping from roughly $350,000 to just $100,000, which was left to Melissa.

[42:27] Wow. Like, where did all that money go? [42:30] Melissa disputes this claim. She said Robert had made many loans to his children over the years, and that explains the smaller amount of the estate. But she has never offered any evidence to support that claim. [42:42] So in their father's final days, Dennis and Bob communicated regularly with Robert's doctors, who were usually confused by the symptoms he was experiencing. Yeah, I bet. They thought it was possible that he had maybe developed some kind of degenerative disease, but that wouldn't have accounted for a lot of his other symptoms. And given that he had been in reasonably good health, like for somebody his age, before meeting Melissa, Dennis and Bob were convinced that she was somehow responsible for their father's death. Yeah. But there wasn't really any evidence to back up that theory. [43:12] So there was nothing authorities could do to help. So they're just... [43:16] dealing with their grief and like injustice at this point. [43:21] So instead, Robert's children filed a civil lawsuit alleging that Melissa had exploited Robert financially and that was settled out of court, with Melissa receiving $15,000 and the remaining money going to the children, Dennis and Bob. Not long after, Melissa sold Robert's house and remaining valuables and just moved to Prince Edward Island. [43:41] moved back. Wow. So they didn't even have like a house to go back to. They had nothing to show for. No. That's so sad. Nothing that like belonged to their dad or anything like that it sounds like. Yeah. That's just really sad. It's horrible. This woman is in my opinion horrible. And you know like that's

[43:58] Like, I think something like that happened. Like, my dad, like his parents, like, there was a similar... [44:06] Kind of not with, like, you know, alleged drugging and all that. No, no, no. But, like... [44:11] a wife happening later in life and [44:14] changes the whole situation and they get left with not a lot and everything. And it's so sad. It is sad because it also really affects the... [44:22] the relationship that you thought you had with somebody and you do still have that relationship and obviously like you can hold those memories tight but it makes you question certain things you know it just it taints the legacy of like what you would like to leave behind yeah you know even as just like a memory and it's that's it's just really sad it's awful i just don't get being like that i really don't i don't either so much work and two it's [44:45] So like you're putting all that time and energy just into... [44:49] being mean and, like, mucking up people's lives. That's the thing. What the fuck is that doing for you? That's the thing. I'm like... [44:55] If I'm even like, don't you feel like fucking hot garbage inside? [45:01] If I have to get mean with someone... [45:04] I feel like hot garbage inside. It doesn't do anything good for my soul. No, not only... Unless they fucking deserve it, and then I feel great. Yeah, then it sends her through the roof, and I'm clapping for her. Yeah. But not even having to be mean to somebody, even if I'm like, oh, fuck, was I friendly enough? I'm literally the kind of person where I'm like, did I say thank you? Was I polite enough? You know what I mean? That trashes my soul. It really does. It trashes your soul to be...

[45:29] yucky shitty yeah and it's like that's i can't imagine living that way don't be a bitch don't be a bitch no just be a hot bitch yeah don't be a bitch be a bad bitch don't be like a bitch be a bad bitch be a be a bad bitch exactly thank you our advice to you that's our ted talk [45:55] This episode is brought to you by Ashley. Your home should show off who you are. Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal and modern trends to bring your personal look home. The eye-catching design of Ashley pieces is one thing, but they also offer practical features like stain-resistance performance fabric options that are incredibly durable, super easy to clean. Some pieces even have machine washable cushion covers, obsessed with that. Ashley offers well-crafted, affordable pieces built to stand up to real life, with great looks that are made to last. [46:25] Plus, Ashley provides fast, reliable white glove delivery right to your room of choice. I just got a bunch of Ashley furniture. They were super nice and sent it to us for my new pod lab. I really wanted to match the cozy library vibe that we have going on in here. And if you know me, you know that I'm obsessed with velvet. So I got the Revion Lakes Love Sea and Sofa in this olive polyester velvet upholstery. It is gorgeous. It looks super upscale in my little pod lab area. [46:55] this like like I was saying earlier they have that like timeless approach but with a modern vibe to it so it really fits my vibe I also got the core stone end tables I love those because the base of the table has this space where you can put like books or knickknacks to kind of dress them up just depending on what kind of vibe you're going for and finally I got the melee coffee table I'm so obsessed with that coffee table that I actually am getting another one for my living room downstairs and I don't care if it's weird to have two coffee tables because it's so gorge it's very

[47:25] like dark, sultry wood, and the legs are so ornate. They look very intricate. I love Ashley, and so will you. The delivery process was one of the easiest things ever. Love the white glove delivery. So visit your local Ashley store or head to ashley.com to find your style. [47:44] This episode is brought to you by SoFi, the all-in-one finance app where you can bank, borrow, and invest all in one place. [47:52] Let's talk about bank accounts for a second. The average bank savings rate is 0.39% in interest. You're earning pennies on your savings, and it doesn't have to be that way. [48:02] But with SoFi's high yield checkings and savings, the money barely making moves sitting in your savings account can earn over eight times the national average savings rate with eligible direct deposit. No account or overdraft fees. We love transparency. You can get your paycheck up to two days early, plus get up to a $300 welcome bonus when you sign up with eligible direct deposit. [48:26] Sign up for SoFi Checking and Savings at SoFi.com slash morbid. SoFi Checking and Savings is offered through SoFi Bank and a member FDIC. Terms apply. [48:37] Getting scared is one thing. Getting a thrill is, well, you want more of those in your life. The Genesis GV70 is built to thrill, baby. A thrilling yet elegant design always makes driving the GV70 an exciting adventure. Its powerful athletic stance screams performance and turns heads. Everybody's looking at you, girl or boy or whoever. Command the road and experience a class

[49:07] modes for all different terrains. Choose between the different terrain modes for whatever road conditions you may encounter. The Genesis GV70's award-winning technology and performance lets you drive with comfort and drive with confidence all at the same time. It's an exciting SUV with intuitive tech that can make your ride smooth even when the road isn't. And its blind spot cameras allow you to see what's next to you. It's like having eyes on the side of your head. That's [49:37] makes you feel confident, sexy. The Genesis GV70. Learn more at genesis.com and feel the GV70. [49:47] so unfortunately melissa's still at it so she arrived back in prince edward island in 2004 and found herself in a difficult situation so settling the civil suit brought against her by robert's children meant that she lost the remaining estate which she planned to live on so she needed to come up with a new plan to support herself [50:09] Also, in addition for that, the RCMP was investigating her for fraud, alleging that she'd been collecting spousal social security benefits under two different names. Oh, so she knew consequences were a coming down the pike. [50:23] Mm-hmm. So now she had to come up with a plan fast, not only to get some money, but also to avoid prosecution. [50:29] So she did what had always worked in her favor in the past. She started looking for a new man. Of course. Now, following his second divorce, 73-year-old Alex Strategos, I hope I said that correctly, he decided that he was ready to try dating again, and he joined an online dating site, getting back out there. Unfortunately, he met Melissa on that site. He told a reporter later...

[50:52] though. [50:53] Oh, okay. I heard told a reporter later. He told a reporter later. He said, I was just lonely. And I thought this was a good chance to find somebody and get together, start a different life. So they sent some messages back and forth before Melissa suggested that, you know, maybe they meet up in person for a date. Knowing that the RCMP was closing in fast, she did need to get out of Canada pretty quickly. So she was like, Oh, my God, I would love to drive down from Prince Edward Island to Florida and meet you IRL. [51:23] just so crazy and cuckoo and like we'll do shit on a whim here i come said brb afk that reminds me of the girl just i should pull her up after this but the girl that i showed you the other day who at the drive-thru just goes here i come oh yeah i love her that stresses me i'll pull her up i'll pull her up at the end here i come so that's what melissa said she said on my way on my way [51:46] Now, the proposition seemed fucking crazy to Alex, but he liked that Melissa was, quote, full of life and prepared to do something crazy. He was like, oh, we got a spontaneous girl up in here. [51:57] So she arrived in Florida and she said, Ooh, I'm here. [52:03] but I don't have any money and I don't have a place to stay. So, you know, this date could go on forever. I could just live with you. The Amy Poehler and baby mama. And she says, Oh, I don't, I don't have gas money. Yeah. Pat, Pat, where's my wallet? So, [52:20] That obviously caught Alex off guard, but also he's young. He's getting it. He's back on the horse. He's getting out here. He's like, maybe this is how things are now. Yeah, he doesn't know, you know. It's been a while. He's like, I don't want to ruin this. So he's like...

[52:33] You can stay with me. Don't worry about it. Nice guy. He said later, she was a real classy lady. I was lonely. And she was a woman. She was a real classy lady. He said. I was lonely. She was a woman. You know. [52:46] We love, we love, he's, he's got simple taste, you know, he's like, I don't need a whole lot more. He's a lonely woman. Great. Classy. Let's go. Classy as well. So from that moment, that moment, she moved into his condo and their whirlwind relationship again. Oh boy. Just as in her other relationship, she didn't waste any time getting to his money. Nope. And also like her previous relationships, it didn't take long before Alex started to notice some new health problems. This is so crazy. You're never going to guess what he started feeling. [53:16] Was it dizzy? It was dizzy. He started feeling dizzy throughout the day. He also felt weak and tired. And then he started falling over a lot. Oh, no. Now, at 73 years old, he wasn't in the best of health. He had diabetes and he had some other health issues. So he was like, oh, fuck, like, you know, consequences of aging. These must just be new symptoms. Yeah. But within a few weeks, the problem started to get more and more serious. And Alex actually ended up in the hospital. [53:41] Just like in the other cases, doctors couldn't figure out what was going on with him, though. [53:45] But like Robert Friedrich, Alex's symptoms couldn't be explained by any of his known ailments. Like, these people obviously had things they were dealing with, like health-wise. They were elderly, yeah. They're elderly or older. But they're not aligning with the things that they do have. So... [54:01] Medical professionals were like, this, what is this? Like, it doesn't indicate any specific illness or disease, and it doesn't have to, it doesn't correlate with anything you're dealing with. So the doctors weren't the only ones baffled by Alex's new symptoms. His son, Dean, also thought it was pretty strange that his father was experiencing such profound new symptoms out of nowhere with no explanation. Yeah.

[54:22] But good kids watching out for their, I know, their aged parents, the real ones in this case are truly the kids. And here's the thing. Dean was willing to go a step further and just say, I suspect this is my dad's new girlfriend. [54:35] You know what? [54:36] Good for Dean. He called her out. I got suspicions. Yeah. And at least can we check into them? Good for him. He said as soon as he got home, he would get real feeble and real sickly and was back in the hospital. It was something that was happening to him that wasn't natural. Less than two months. Think of that short period of time. Less than two months into his relationship with Melissa. His symptoms had become so severe that Melissa convinced him he needed to move into a long term care facility. [55:04] What the fuck? Meanwhile, this guy, like, was, you know, dealing with some issues. He had, like, diabetes that he was managing. He was rocking and rolling. But he was managing his symptoms. Yeah. [55:12] He meets Melissa and now he has to sign up for a long-term care facility? [55:16] And honestly, he's not that old by any means. So... [55:20] From the moment Alex arrived at the nursing home, the staff thought there was something very strange about his relationship with Melissa. They knew that he had been divorced twice, but Melissa kept introducing herself as Mr. Tegos. And at the same time, Dean was more or less convinced that his father's illness was somehow being caused by Melissa. So he started pressuring the medical staff to test his father for drugs. Oh, damn. Alex. Yeah, Dean is doing it. He's like Dennis, is getting it going. Uh-huh. Dean and Dennis. Dean and Dennis. [55:50] Yeah.

[56:01] dean dean and dean's girlfriend hell yeah so police in florida immediately arrested melissa and she was charged with multiple counts of endangerment and assault as well as three counts of grand theft from a person 65 years of age or older oh and two counts of forgery i just feel bad too like poor alex like these poor guys who are thinking they're like getting another shot yeah [56:26] at love and just companionship. And then they end up being like, [56:31] so not cool yeah like this like like the the woman they find yeah like she's she's just not cool also in like most of these cases they give her a place to stay they're like oh my gosh like you're down on your luck you're welcome to stay with me like you said opening up their home it's [56:47] You just have to be really shitty if you're doing this to people. Yeah. If you are actively drugging people to try to do whatever you're trying to do to them. I mean, like, don't do that. Definitely don't. If you're not drugging people. [57:00] Not good. Yeah. Not bad, in fact. Don't recommend it. Blanket. [57:06] No. That's fair. That's a fair statement. No. Uh-uh. If you are drugging people, not cool. Stop. Cut it out. That's what I say, but I just really feel bad for them. Yeah. Because this isn't the ultimate betrayal. [57:20] Yeah, absolutely. And this is the ultimate, like... [57:23] your whole world comes crashing down. Like him getting tested and, first of all, being put in a nursing home when he probably didn't need to. He said, I was sprawled out. She got his power of attorney under the rest. And then the staff tells you, Hey, I'm going to,

[57:37] You have drugs in your system. [57:39] That you haven't been taken. That you're not taken. Somebody's drugging you. Mm-hmm. And then your son and their girlfriend is like, we have to call the police on your new girlfriend because she might have drugged you. Right. [57:48] what like how do you find yourself that would send you into orbit but never mind when you were in your fucking twilight years you're supposed to be vibing and this is not what's supposed to be happening to you you are supposed to be vibing let old people vibe man 2026 let old people vibe what was my old one call them out 2020 was it called about 2020 yeah oh what a year but you know what let old people vibe yeah let only old people and only the good ones i was gonna say [58:18] workshop this. Yeah, we got to workshop that because there's a lot of old people that should never vibe again for the rest of their lives. [58:26] Wait, let old people vibe 2026 asterisk and then we'll work on the footnote. Yeah, then we'll make a footnote for that. Unless I need to show them these motherfucking hands. You know who you are. That's part of the footnote. Mikey just added the part of the footnote. It's perfect. We all workshopped that. That was a brain trust. It was a live workshop. It was. We'll probably add more, in fact. [58:48] workshop xoxo the pot the morbid so let's get back to this once the drugs had left a system alex was able actually to insist and assist in the investigation good for alex and that's when the pieces started to come together he said at night when i'd go to bed she'd bring me a little dish of ice cream maybe a couple teaspoons or something like that and she'd bring it into the bedroom and she'd feed it to me i guess that's where the drugs were then i'd go up to the bathroom

[59:17] To fuck with ice cream? I was going to say, to use ice cream? Diabolical. And not only to use ice cream, but to use... [59:25] My evening snack against me? Fuck. How dare you? How dare you? How very dare you? I am finding the rage now. Yeah, there it is. You fuck with my evening snack? Oh, she's getting red. Big red is red. You fuck with my evening snack? It's on sight. How dare you? On sight. [59:45] that's diabolical. It is. And not only that, she's feeding him, being like, [59:50] We can still be weirdly romantic. And I can feed you your ice cream. Like, if that's your thing. Let's go. [59:57] She was allegedly making it seem like she was a caretaker. That's sad. It is. It's fucked up. You don't mess with ice cream like that. Now, so he just have some ice cream and then fall flat on his face, he says. Now, in the two months, remember, this all happened over two months. And those two months that they dated. That sounded so much longer. I know. That took me a second to really grasp. 60 days, babe. [1:00:20] 60 days? Right? Yeah, 60 days. Give or take. Within 60 days, this man was being moved into a long-term care facility? And within 60 days, Melissa had managed to steal nearly $20,000 from him. Holy shit. That was my annual salary at one point in my life. That's... [1:00:37] in [1:00:38] $20,000 in two months? Like, hello? Wow. So in March 2005, the prosecution offered Melissa a plea deal in which she would plead guilty to the charges in exchange for a five-year sentence. Wow. Wow.

[1:00:52] And she accepted. After learning of her guilty plea, Alex told a reporter, [1:00:57] I think it's fair. [1:00:59] Which is really sweet. Everybody's just like, you know what? Whatever a judge wants to do, as long as she stays away from me, cool. I think these dudes are literally just like, as long as I don't have to see her again, I don't care what happens. I really hope that ice cream wasn't ruined for him. I know. That's really fucked up. That makes me sad. Here's the thing. Despite having pleaded guilty to the charges and taking the police, Melissa did continue to maintain her innocence from her jail cell in Florida. [1:01:29] And says the claims are unfounded. [1:01:31] According to Melissa, she never tried to defraud anyone and had only been looking for love. She told the Kingston Whig Standard, I was only interested in a serious relationship and marriage. I was very specific about that. I wasn't trying to lure people to me. I was more or less looking for someone who had the same desires I had. And when a reporter from CBS asked Melissa in an interview, can you change? She said, I can't say that from now on I'll be a perfect citizen, [1:02:01] along, but I can't say that that is going to be the outcome of how my life will end. [1:02:06] Thank you. [1:02:08] She really said no promises. [1:02:11] She's really out here just being like... She really said, don't ask a lot of me. I cannot tell a lie. One thing about me... [1:02:18] Not lying. Yeah, she can't. I'm not going to sit here. She said, here's the thing. Nobody's perfect. You live and you learn it. She did. Yeah. She totally did. I like that she was like, can't say that's how it's all going to end. She said, IDK. She said, stay tuned. Peace. So Melissa returned to Nova Scotia after completing her sentence in 2010. And soon after she met Fred Weeks, that started the cycle all over again. When asked about the case, Eric Hickey, director for forensic studies at Alliant International University,

[1:02:48] women like Melissa as an acute danger to society. He said, they see these men as simply objects, someone who can get them to where they need to go. They are black widows. They are quite calculating, and they are pretty good liars, and they've gotten more sophisticated. They used to use formaldehyde and arsenic to poison their victims. [1:03:06] Which we have covered many of those cases. And there's plenty of awful men in the world. [1:03:11] Pick them. [1:03:13] Why are you picking these nice guys? Don't go after nice guys. I mean, don't go after anyone. I'm kidding. You know I'm kidding. Yeah, she's joking. Don't take it seriously, seriously. [1:03:20] Don't take it seriously. Seriously. But for real, like, why are you picking these, like, very kind, sweet men who are in these situations of, like, being widowers and just kind of, like, lonely? That's really, like, diabolical. I know. [1:03:36] Yucky. I know. So on March 18th, 2016, Melissa was released from prison after serving her sentence for poisoning Fred Weeks there. [1:03:45] Alex Stratagos told a reporter, to tell you the truth, I was surprised. I don't think she should be out at all. She did it before. She'll do it again. He's like, trust me. He's like, hey, what's up? So Melissa's release did come with a number of conditions, though, including adherence to a curfew, no use of the Internet and reporting any. This is crazy. Reporting any romantic relationships to the police. Imagine having to call up 911 and be like, guess what? I met a boy. It's on. [1:04:15] when the government is telling you, like...

[1:04:19] You can't go on the internet. You're grounded off the internet, and you better tell... [1:04:23] your mother and i when you have a new boyfriend yeah that things have gotten wild it's not going to be a hot girl summer if you have to report your romantic interest to 9-1-1 uh here's the thing though one month later in april the 80 year old was arrested again in halifax when she was discovered using the internet in a local library a direct violation so she was brought back to court on a charge of violating the terms of her release but the prosecutor did drop the charges he said there [1:04:53] convicting shepherd. [1:04:55] So now in her late 80s, it seems unlikely, question mark, that Melissa poses much of a risk to anyone, but not everybody agrees. According to her latest victim, Fred Weeks, he said, I think she's a wicked woman. She's not safe with any man, and she'll do it again. Damn. [1:05:11] And we're here to say, I hope she doesn't. I hope she does not. I hope that, you know, she completes the terms of her release. Chill out. Just get a hobby. Just... [1:05:24] chill out yeah that's literally all i can say chill the fuck out melissa i know [1:05:31] allegedly to stop it. [1:05:34] Stop it. Just like have a... [1:05:36] have a moment just call the police take up a hobby like you said crochet yeah needlepoint sourdough [1:05:43] Sourdough. That'll take up a lot of your time. Ooh, miniatures. Little book nooks. Make a book nook. Girl, make a book nook. Tough on the eyes.

[1:05:51] It's going to work those eyes, though. Keep those going. Keep that mind going. Yeah. Put on some glasses. Okay. [1:05:58] This is all stuff that will take up your time and keep you from... [1:06:02] from getting into any trouble. And it doesn't involve the internet, which you can't be on, babe. Yeah. No internet. No internet for you. Nope. [1:06:08] And you know what? That's good because the internet's gnarly. So why don't you stay off it? You should. So yeah, that's the story that I had for you today. What a wild ride, eh? [1:06:19] Holy. Oh, and it was from Canada. I didn't even do that on purpose. Hey. Do you have a fun fact for us? Or is it my turn? I think it's your turn. Okay. Fun fact that's also pretty fucking morbid. [1:06:31] Your brain is constantly eating itself. [1:06:36] Delicious. The process is called phagocytosis, where cells envelop and consume smaller cells or molecules to remove them from the system. But don't worry, says 121 Facts That Will Blow Your Mind on Science Forms. They say... [1:06:51] It's not harmful. It actually helps preserve your gray matter. Oh, and you need that. So. That's an interesting fact. That's, it's like when I think too much about having a brain, now I'm thinking about my brain being hungry and snacking on itself. Now you can kind of feel your brain. I think I do want it. Oh, no, stop. Ah, I hate it. Sloshing. Not sloshing. Why do you say sloshing? I mean, it is kind of sloshing. Is it? A little bit. [1:07:16] I feel like, is it moving? Is that why I have a headache? It's around. [1:07:19] When you get a concussion, it's because your brain slams against the side of your skull. That I knew, but I thought that was, like, why you got concussed, because it's, like, not supposed to move, really. I need you to stop. I'm literally holding my skull together. Okay, we love you, we hope you keep listening, and we hope you keep it weird. But not so weird that you become too aware of your own fucking brain sloshing, quote-unquote, around in your head. Yeah, don't. And don't say weird. Yeah. You didn't say weird.

[1:07:44] I didn't say weird. No. [1:07:46] Wait, what? Oh, I did? Wait, what? And we hope you keep it weird. Wait, I feel like we did. You, she said you didn't. Oh, that's funny. Crazy. Well, I was too worried about my brain sloshing around in my head. I mean, yeah. It's been a long day, all right? Bye. [1:08:07] . [1:08:10] Thank you. [1:08:40] Thank you. [1:09:10] Thank you.

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