IF I GO MISSING: Tanya Rider

[00:00] Hi, Crime Junkies. It's Britt, and I have big news. One of my favorite seasonal shows, CounterClock, is back with a brand new season, and it is wild. Host Delia D'Ambra is digging into the 2008 Lane Bryant murders. I mean, this isn't just a recap. It is a reinvestigation. She's talking to law enforcement, people from the community, even sources who have never spoken publicly until now. And you know I love a show that asks all the questions. Listen to CounterClock Season 8 now wherever you get your podcasts. [00:30] Hi Crime Junkies, I'm your host Ashley Flowers and I'm Britt and as you all know I was in Philadelphia all last week for podcast movement Which means I wasn't able to prep an episode for this week But instead of leaving you guys hanging we decided to give you two things that you have all been asking for number one [00:50] Britt, today you are actually the host and you're going to be telling the story. I am. It's the first time and I'm so excited. [00:58] I know. And this is something that people in our Facebook group have been asking for a ton. And I'm so glad because there is literally no way I would have been able to do an episode this week without you. The other thing that we're going to check off of our list today is we've decided to use this episode to give everyone something that they have been asking for across every platform. We get more requests for this than anything else. Anything.

[01:28] missing folder. And today is the day we finally answer that question. So we're going to give you a story that really emphasizes why you should be your own advocate and to make sure you have all the information readily available should something happen to you. But also, we're going to give you some resources on what goes in there, some resources on our website. We actually have a downloadable link to kickstart your folder. And we're going to offer something that will actually [01:58] central Indiana, and it will be a crucial part of your folder. So with all of that, Britt, [02:04] Are you ready to tell a story? I'm so ready. [02:08] Let's do it. [02:38] you [02:45] So of all the cases that you could have done, how did you land on this one? So this case is the one case that made me decide that I needed an If I Go Missing folder. And what's weird about it is it's not a super traditional crime, but it's the one thing that has haunted me for a very, very long time. And I think you know that too. I do. Now that you're talking about it, I can remember you telling me about this

[03:15] story and just like and it was something that didn't really resonate with me at the time and you were just like yeah but I cannot stop thinking about it I'm like girl it all ended fine like I can't I don't get it but you totally make sense and especially of all the stuff that we're telling people about making their if I go missing folder and all the things that should be in it I mean how many messages have we gotten emails direct messages on Twitter and Instagram Facebook asking like what needs to be in this folder and like today's the day we like give you a solid answer [03:45] everything that we think you need in an if I go missing folder but before that I [03:50] I'm going to tell you the story of Tanya Ryder. [03:54] I'm so excited! [03:57] So Tanya was a hardworking 33-year-old woman who had just moved to Maple Valley, Washington with her husband, Tom. She and Tom had been married for about seven years, and they both came from kind of rough backgrounds. She had been raised by a single mother who often spent night after night partying, leaving Tanya home alone with little or no food for days on end. [04:21] Tom had a similar experience with his alcoholic mother. And as they grew up and eventually got together, Tom and Tanya had made the decision to kind of distance themselves from their families. Tanya's family never really liked Tom anyway. And Tom's mother and sister, while initially were very supportive of the couple, had actually turned on Tanya and became like super competitive with her. And on top of that, Tom and Tanya had some ghosts in their past.

[04:51] I love past ghosts. [04:53] Tom had lived kind of a rough lifestyle and was into drugs at the time he met Tanya. And she had actually spent most of her adult life battling depression. They knew they didn't have much, but they had each other. And in the book that I read about this, Tom said that Tanya inspired him to be a better person. And Tanya said that he lit up her life with joy. [05:17] So they struck out on their own with big dreams for their lives. They moved around for a few years, trying to find a place that felt like home. And they even started their own siding company, like housing siding called Lazarus. Oh, okay. Yeah, they both rose above. Oh, that makes sense. I get it, I get it. But they got taken advantage of in a few business deals and eventually had to close up shop. But then they got a break. A relative of Tom's had left him a house as an inheritance. And they didn't really want to live there. [05:47] Then they thought about opening a health food store in it, but were nervous about failing in business a second time, so they decided to sell the house. [05:56] When they sold the house, they decided to invest the money in a piece of property in the Pacific Northwest. And they look for, like... [06:03] years for the perfect property, and they finally settle on a tract of land in Shelton, Washington, overlooking an inlet. [06:10] So they have their land and they get an RV and they actually live in the RV for a little bit as they literally start building their home together. Literally, that's my dream is not even to build a home, though. I told Eric because I'm in sales. I just want to like travel around in my RV with him and Charlie because the worst part about sales is just not being home. But if I had Charlie and Eric in my RV, like dream, dream life.

[06:34] Eric does not think so, but, you know, we'll get there. [06:38] So even though they're living in this RV, they actually purchased a townhome in Maple Valley to live in for a while as they build, especially because winter is going to set in soon. In the meantime, all of their money went into purchasing their land and their townhome, so they have to hustle to make ends meet. Tanya worked at a Nordstrom rack as a fitting room attendant most days and stocked health and beauty items at a Fred Meyer store in an overnight shift. [07:08] during the day and delivering pizza at night. [07:11] But in their minds, it was worth it. They were in it. They were... [07:15] doing it. They were going to go for their dream. But on the night of September 19th, 2007, around 10 o'clock, Tanya calls Tom. With their crazy schedules, they don't get to spend a lot of time together. So it's pretty customary for them to, you know, check in with each other before a shift. And Tom's phone rings a couple of times and he finally picks up and Tanya's like, hey, what are you up to? And he's like, oh, I'm sleeping. [07:43] And she can tell he she just woke him up. And knowing how valuable sleep is in their hectic schedules, she hangs up immediately. She heads to her overnight shift at Fred Meyer, works her shift and around 9 a.m. in the morning of September 20th, she clocks out, gets in her brand new Honda Element SUV and begins her drive home.

[08:06] From the Fred Meyer, it's about a 45-minute drive to their home, so she knows that Tom will be well on his way to his construction job by the time she gets there, but... [08:15] Tanya won't make it home that morning. [08:18] For decades, some cold cases have been reduced to files in a cabinet, but not anymore. I'm Ashley Flowers, and me and my team on the deck have been traveling across the country to report on these forgotten cases. And in some instances, it's resulted in these cases being solved after decades. So [08:37] Join me every Wednesday as we revive these stories one card at a time. Listen to the deck now. [08:44] wherever you get your podcasts. [08:48] Tom goes to his construction job and knows that Tanya will be working overnight two more nights, so he actually is able to pick up a couple side projects, clearing some blackberry brush from a property, after working construction and before heading to his pizza delivery job. It's their usual Monday through Friday schedule. There are ships in the night, so him not seeing Tanya that night or the next was actually pretty normal for them. Wait, so they would go actually days without seeing each other face to face and... [09:17] I guess you don't know if they were home or not. There's probably [09:20] stuff everywhere and right so oh gosh it's just so strange to me like that's not the life I live so yeah it's super weird like Justin and I work a lot and even worked split shifts before but we still saw each other pretty frequently and from what I can tell they only saw each other really when their days off coincided

[09:40] Didn't Tom think it was kind of weird though that [09:43] he hadn't even like heard from her? Because I know she called in that one night and you said it was pretty normal for them to talk on the phone. Was it also normal that sometimes they would go days without even checking in with one another? It wasn't. It wasn't. [09:55] From what I can tell, Tom said it was pretty normal for her to just hear his voice. So the fact that she hung up as soon as he said that he was sleeping wasn't really crazy. She just wanted to make sure that he was there. He picked up the phone. He was okay. And I couldn't find anything that said that he did the same thing towards her. [10:15] But generally, they were just used to this life. Monday through Friday, it was crazy, it was hectic, and it was worth it because this was what they wanted to do. Right, okay. Okay. [10:27] The morning of Saturday, September 21st, Tom is out clearing out more Blackberry brush, and around 9am he gets a call from Tanya's boss at Fred Meyer, asking if everything is okay. And Tom is kind of confused by the question, and says... [10:43] Yeah, why? And that's when Tanya's boss tells him that [10:48] Tanya has missed her last two shifts and never called in, which is super unlike her. And Tom immediately freaks out. They're so busy. When was the last time he talked to her? Had it really been that abrupt call on Wednesday night? And he tells the manager at Fred Meyer that he'll get a hold of Tanya, don't worry, and he'll have her call them back. He's got to be freaking out because...

[11:13] He knows he hasn't seen her, so if she's not at work and it's not her crazy work schedule that's keeping them apart, like, something's up. Right. So, he tries to call Tanya, and it rings and rings and goes to voicemail. At least it's still ringing. Yeah. [11:29] And he actually tries her number two more times before he actually leaves her a message. And his next call is to Nordstrom Rack, her second job. And he finds out there that she wasn't scheduled to work on Thursday or Friday, but she actually is scheduled to work right now. And she's currently late for that shift and hadn't called in. And he kind of explains the situation, and the people there say... [11:57] If she shows up, we'll let her know that you're looking for her. [12:01] But she doesn't show up, does she? [12:03] No. And at this point, Tom is reeling. They have this shared goal and this understanding that to get there, they have to sacrifice time together, you know? And it had been since Wednesday night that they had talked. How long had she been missing? We find out later that by the time Tom realized that Tanya was missing, she had been missing for a full 48 hours. The crucial time. Like, no. [12:32] There's a reason all the shows are called the first 48 and 48 hours. I was just about to say, like, there are shows called 48 hours for this reason. So he's out clearing brush on a job site.

[12:45] And he rushes home. And before he gets home, he actually drives some of her usual routes, making sure that he didn't see her car anywhere or any sign of an accident. And he gets home, searches the house, and then decides he's going to camp out at the Nordstrom Rack just to see if she shows up. [13:03] And he's almost there when he calls Highway Patrol to see if any cars matching the description of hers had been in any accidents in the couple days. [13:12] Nothing. He calls a local hospital to see if anyone matching her description had been admitted. [13:17] Nothing. And finally, as a last resort, Tom calls 911 to report her as a missing person and gets an operator at the Bellevue police. And he tells the operator everything he knows. The last time he spoke with her, the last time she was seen, and why he thinks something is wrong. Skipping work without calling in is super unlike her, and all of her managers agree. [13:47] of maybe some random cash, she only has her Nordstrom visa card, and he's not on that account, so he can't access it. And the 911 operator sends an officer out to meet Tom at the Nordstrom Rack to take a statement. [14:02] This is why it gets, like, super if I go missing folder-ish. Mm-hmm. [14:08] If you had that password, that Northam rat card, we would know. Thank you. [14:13] The officer asks about their relationship. Were they fighting? Did Tanya have any reason to be mad at Tom?

[14:19] And Tom's like, [14:20] "Dude, we're married. We have our good days, we have our bad days, but [14:25] I'm pretty confident she didn't just leave me. Literally, my husband just barged in while we were recording, and he's mad at me, so I get it. And the officer kind of questions that, though. And Tom's like, dude... [14:37] I know Tanya. [14:38] Is this officer married? I don't feel like he's married. Well, I love Tom's response because I hope to God that this would be my husband's response. He goes, I know my wife. [14:50] If my wife left me, she would have taken some... [14:54] If not all of the money. [14:57] But she hasn't touched a dime. And the officer takes all this down, actually confirms with the security footage called in from Fred Meyer, that Tanya did in fact leave their parking lot around 9 a.m. when her shift ended. And she took off towards the highway. Knowing she was headed home, Bellevue Police Department was actually out of their jurisdiction at that point, [15:24] would have him switched over to the King County Sheriff's Dispatch. So he did. [15:29] And Ashley, you're going to have a field day with this. Oh, no. Oh, no. [15:34] This 911 operator was a trip. [15:38] Another one. [15:40] First, the operator asks if he's checked hospitals and jails. Okay, yeah. Like... [15:46] No, he said, yeah, of course I checked the hospitals. But if my wife was in jail, 100%, she'd be calling me to bail her out. Yeah, and this is an amateur hour. Yes, I've done that. Like, and I'm on to you. And I've already met with a police officer. Like, can we please get on with this? But the operator's like, well, we can't do anything until you confirm she's not arrested somewhere. Yeah.

[16:05] So Tom hangs up and calls multiple different law enforcement agencies and confirms, nope, no one has booked Tanya. And so Tom... [16:15] Tom calls King County an operator again and says, Okay, checked hospitals and jails and morgues this time, and no one has her. [16:26] ready to take the report. And they're like, [16:29] Have you checked with our family and friends yet? Oh my god, are you kidding me? [16:35] And Tom explains that they're both estranged from their families, so he knows Tanya wouldn't be with them. And they just moved to the area and don't have that many friends outside of co-workers who... [16:45] He's already confirmed haven't heard from her. So, no, he hasn't checked with anybody. And, again, the operator's like, hmm... [16:53] can't do anything until you talk to her family and friends. And Tom tries to argue his point, but the operator... [17:01] literally hangs up on him. You're kidding me. [17:05] No. Can they do that? In King County, Washington, I guess they can. If you're not just being like... [17:12] a jerk and yelling obscenities and making no sense. [17:16] If you're actually trying to call in about a missing person, they can just hang up on you. Yeah. [17:21] Right, so reluctantly, Tom starts calling family members. Some of them he hasn't heard from in, like... [17:28] five or ten years. And he also calls the few friends that she has that are not even near them. And as presumed,

[17:38] nothing from them. Once again, [17:41] He calls King County 911. [17:43] Good lord, this better work. This time, the operator wants to know if Tanya has any mental health issues. And Tom tells the operator that Tanya has been diagnosed with depression, but it's being treated. And the operator asks what medication she was on. And Tom explained that Tanya actually wasn't medicated and was utilizing alternative coping mechanisms like therapy and exercise and diet to keep her depression at bay. [18:12] And that's when the operator says, sorry, she doesn't meet our criteria to open a missing persons case. What the heck does that mean? What do you mean she doesn't meet your criteria? She's an adult. She can go and do what she wants. And there aren't enough markers in her quote, [18:31] disappearance to open a case. [18:34] And... [18:35] Wait, what are... [18:37] What are the markers that they're looking for? [18:39] In my research on this, the markers are basically a person who can't help themselves. So, [18:46] a minor, a person who doesn't want to be missing. [18:52] And that's like a person who kind of takes off on their own or a person who's off their meds. I don't think every adult wants to be missing. [19:01] Like, Tanya didn't want to be missing. I mean, how do you, without looking into these cases, how do you know that just from a phone call? Like, this is bananas. I'm about to flip a table. Okay. So, exactly. And Tom is just as outraged, if not more than we are in this moment right now. Probably more. It is his wife. His wife has been missing for two days and somehow still doesn't meet the criteria for a missing persons report. And Ashley, you've told me

[19:29] so many stories and I've been so outraged about officers or 911 operators not taking missing persons seriously. But this one kind of like hits a nerve for me. I just cannot handle this whole, like this is his what third, fourth call to 911 and he still can't file a report. So Tom is trying to keep his cool in this. And like, so am I, as I'm telling this story, by the way, but he's [19:56] No. But basically, he questions the operator like... [20:01] What if she's dead or dying? How will you live with yourself knowing you could have helped, [20:07] and you didn't. And the operator just keeps repeating that this is just standard procedure, she's an adult, there's no sign of foul play, she's not under any doctor's supervision for mental health, so they don't have to look for her. And Tom cannot believe this is happening. And honestly, the more I dug into this, the more I was enraged too. I know we've talked about how law enforcement often mishandles opening missing person cases, but looking into this case, [20:37] I learned something that I didn't know specifically about Washington state. [20:42] So while I was researching this, I came across an article in the Seattle Post Intelligencer from 2003, and that's four years before Tanya went missing. [20:53] And the author of the article, Louis Cam, wrote about the gross mishandling of Seattle

[21:00] and Washington State in general's missing person cases. [21:04] For decades, some cold cases have been reduced to files in a cabinet, but not anymore. I'm Ashley Flowers, and me and my team on the deck have been traveling across the country to report on these forgotten cases. And in some instances, it's resulted in these cases being solved after decades. [21:23] Join me every Wednesday as we revive these stories one card at a time. Listen to the deck now. [21:30] wherever you get your podcasts. [21:34] Lewis Kam found that the state of Washington had, on average, about 2,100 active missing person cases on file at any given time. And about 1,400 of those involved people who had been missing for more than 30 days. But what he also found was that police had never followed up on over 900 of those cases that were more than 30 days old. [22:03] As I'm sure you all assume, when this happens, the integrity of every investigation is compromised. You have cases remaining open, even when the person is located, and you have cases closing when there are but rumors floating around about sightings. [22:21] Ashley, what's crazy is we've actually seen this in stories we've covered before. Yes, yes! Misty Copsey! Yeah, if you go back to episode 27, Misty Copsey, her mom reported her missing once in Puyallup, which is just outside of King County, Washington. And after that report was made, Misty actually showed up at the house later and it wasn't a big deal. But then Misty actually went missing. And...

[22:51] When a report went to be filed, she already had the missing persons report open. Like, no one can even pick up the phone to be like, even if you're not going to investigate, which is a slap in the face, but you can't pick up the phone to be like, hey, just want to check, is your person still missing? Because I care. Just a follow-up. But wait, there's more. [23:21] person cases on file because there had been reported sightings of them. And that was actually in King County where Tanya went missing. Wait, so someone just said they saw them and they're like, okay, no big deal. We're going to take this one off the books. Yep. And... [23:38] Brit. Clearly, there are some not great practices in the state of Washington when it comes to missing people, but let's be honest, these issues and procedures are not unique to Washington state. They're not, and I know, you know, a lot of the times it's because everyone is so overworked and there literally aren't enough detectives, but at some point, like, that's not an excuse anymore, and [24:03] The detectives themselves, like it's not maybe necessarily on them. There are bad detectives, don't get me wrong. But it's like the government around it. There's no funding and they're not putting enough people on the case. And it's, I mean, we're paying our tax dollars. So if I or someone I know goes missing, I expect someone to at least pick up a phone and make a call to like follow up on the case. Right. I'm pissed.

[24:26] And so is Tom. He feels like he's fighting an uphill battle. [24:33] network to see if he can at least get some publicity about Tanya being missing. And I couldn't find that this was the case everywhere, but this particular news agency told him he had to have a case number from the police before they could report on it. [24:48] You know. [24:48] the one thing he couldn't get from law enforcement? Yeah. So, feeling defeated, Tom calls King County 911 [24:57] Yet again. [24:58] And he finally finds an operator with some kind of heart, and they send an officer out to interview him. Finally, thank you. An officer comes out, asks Tom some questions, and searches their house, actually, on Tom's insistence. And at the end of the visit, the officer tells Tom he'll turn this into a sergeant, and the sergeant is the one who will decide if it gets assigned either. [25:22] detective. After this tiny glimmer of hope that King County was finally taking Tanya's disappearance seriously, Tom feels like he got shot down once again. This interview was [25:32] literally just a courtesy call. And by this time, it's Saturday night and Tom is just distraught. [25:39] But... [25:40] At least he has a case number. So he goes back to the news agency and starts working on getting Tanya's story some press. The next day, a detective actually calls, which is a miracle. Shocking. And asks for more information about their bank accounts. And Tom hands over everything he has, all of their shared accounts, all of his personal accounts, their cell phone provider information, everything but the information on Tanya's only solo account, that Nordstrom Rack visa.

[26:10] he can't get into. And he hopes handing over so much and being so open will eliminate him as a suspect as quickly as possible. Does it? Well, the rest of the weekend, Tom just focuses on raising money for a reward, printing and posting flyers, and checking in with a news agency every single day to make sure they keep Tanya's name in the headlines. And by Monday morning, he's just in [26:40] go to work at his construction job anyway, just to do something. [26:44] anything but worry endlessly about Tanya. And at this point, he's calling her all the time, and it rings and rings and voicemail, and rings and rings and voicemail. And then... [26:56] It just goes to voicemail. And you guys know how I feel about calls going straight to voicemail. It's... [27:03] immediate panic for me. Totally stresses you out. And through all this, Tom continues to check in with the police, who continue to question his every move. Until finally... [27:14] Thursday, September 28th, [27:16] Eat. [27:17] Days since Tanya went missing, the police call Tom into their office. And when he gets there, they inform him that they'd like him to take a polygraph once and for all to rule him out. Nope. [27:30] Nope. [27:32] Don't do it, Tom. Don't do it. He immediately agrees. In his mind, he just wants to clear his name so that people can focus on what really happened to Tanya. A few questions in, he can feel himself losing his temper. He feels like they don't want to clear him. They want to frame him. And what's bizarre about this for me is the polygraph administrator actually notices that he's getting agitated.

[28:02] and offers him a break, which seems super against protocol to me, but whatever. I mean, I kind of get it, though, because if you see that somebody's getting, like, angry and pissed, not necessarily— It's going to skew the results. Yeah, so, I mean, you're looking for somebody being, like, anxious and nervous, not visibly upset and mad, because then you—I mean, not that polygraphs mean anything anyways, but if somebody's visibly mad, then your results are— [28:32] Like they are if they're not. [28:35] So they take a break, and while Tom is cooling off, a couple of officers come into the interrogation room and tell him they found his wife's car. Where? But she's trapped inside. Wait, what? So using some of the information that Tom had provided to them, police were able to get a warrant for Tanya's cell phone records. And... [28:54] Ashley, I know pings are like a really touchy subject around here. Yes. But they noticed that every time an incoming call had been made to Tanya's phone, at least while it was still on, they had all pinged to one tower off of State Road 169. So... [29:12] on a whim, [29:13] Don't know why they felt. [29:15] you know, especially curious at this point because they hadn't cared at all before now, they sent a recovery team to the area to see if they could find the phone. [29:26] Thank you. [29:27] What they found was Tanya's blue Honda element on its side and the front end completely crushed. Tanya was still inside, hanging from her seatbelt.

[29:41] alive. Oh my god, how many days later is this? Oh, [29:45] She's been hanging upside down for eight days? Yes. And... [29:50] What's really incredible is there's this sort of recount in the book that she wrote that I assume she interviewed some people who were actually on the recovery team. And the reports coming into dispatch from the recovery team were we see a car. [30:07] We see a blue car, we see a blue SUV, [30:11] We see a body in it. [30:13] We see... [30:15] movement. [30:17] And I don't know if you have them. [30:20] that [30:21] I have full body chills. No, I get to say it. It's my job. It's so like incredible. And they basically have to bring in the jaws of life to get her out of this car. The entire roof is destroyed. Her legs are pinned under the dashboard and she can't get out. [30:51] past leaving the Fred Meyer on Thursday morning. So do they have any idea how she ended up there? Like obviously there was no big accident scene, or they would have like seen where she went off, and I mean because her husband was like driving that road when he first realized she went missing. Right, so we have no idea what happened. We know she was working around the clock, so there is a pretty good chance she may have just fallen asleep at the wheel. There's a chance something more sinister had happened, like someone ran her off the road,

[31:21] So once the recovery team gets there, they call in dispatch, dispatch, [31:27] sends out a helicopter and they airlift her to the nearest hospital where she has to fight for her life. When she gets admitted to the hospital, her body temperature was only 87.6 degrees. [31:40] She was severely dehydrated, and her blood was full of sodium and acid. Her muscles had actually started breaking down and releasing fiber into her blood, and that had put such a strain on her kidneys that she was in acute kidney failure. Her lungs had disintegrated and leaked, causing air pockets to form in her abdomen and right armpit. [32:05] Her left shoulder was dislocated. She had severe fractures to her ribs, left collarbone, and a spinal vertebrae. And she had this super deep cut in her forehead. And it was so deep that it exposed the connective tissue covering the bone. And because of the way her vehicle was positioned, which I've posted on our blog... [32:29] There were pressure ulcers from the seat belt and deep patches of dead skin all over her body where circulation wasn't able to get there. Her pelvis, her hips, her abdomen, all over her chest. And she was actually in a medically induced coma for a very long time because of the amount of pain she would have been in had she been conscious.

[32:53] Holy crap. So when she was actually in the car, was she conscious then or... [32:59] Was she unconscious for most of the time? In her words, she's not even really sure. So she remembers being there. She remembers the feeling of hanging. She remembers... [33:11] even hearing her cell phone ring. But she also remembers hallucinating, like calling the 911 dispatch herself and them laughing at her. She remembers being comforted by her deceased preppet lady, who had passed away a couple years before, and she felt like she was there. She was cuddling with her. She... [33:34] also hallucinated calling Tom and he basically blew her off, which I [33:39] I thought was kind of funny because when she came to, she was pretty pissed at him. [33:45] Which, like, same. It's like having a dream where, like, your husband cheats on you and you wake up pissed off. Except you actually went through hell. Yes. Right. So... [33:57] Part of it she was conscious of, part of it she wasn't. She's not really sure. She does know by about day four she was aware [34:06] very heavily hallucinating and was... Her body was eating itself, to be completely honest. Yeah. [34:14] She recalls [34:16] you know, throwing up, but not having anything to throw up. It rained one night and she felt like she had been revived. It was obviously a very, very traumatic situation for her. And there's a lot in her book and in the articles that I read and the documentaries that I've watched. She went through a lot emotionally and physically, obviously, but something she said that after this ordeal is that this really showed her that we need to protect ourselves.

[34:46] For decades, some cold cases have been reduced to files in a cabinet, but not anymore. I'm Ashley Flowers, and me and my team on the deck have been traveling across the country to report on these forgotten cases. And in some instances, it's resulted in these cases being solved after decades. [35:05] Join me every Wednesday as we revive these stories one card at a time. Listen to the deck now. [35:12] wherever you get your podcasts. [35:15] Police don't and physically can't protect us all the time. We have to be proactive about our own safety and the safety of our loved ones. And I think this is where our if I go missing folder comes in. Like, yes, the police in King County, Washington, like us, suspect that no one just disappears without a reason or without foul play. But the truth is we all travel to work, to the [35:45] sinister is as high, if not higher, than something actually sinister happening. [35:53] It's so true. I mean, and that's why we've preached it so much. I mean, and if I go missing folder, it's like kind of a running joke with us, but it's not a joke at all. I mean, I'm so serious about having mine. I push it to all my family members as well because if something were to happen with them, I can't imagine just like sitting around and waiting for the police to look into something like I need to feel like I can start somewhere and start the search.

[36:23] I'm crazy just like you guys and I want to have this if I go missing folder to protect myself and help my family if something sinister happens to me or if I were to get into an accident and run off the road and no one knows where to find me. So here are the things that we think definitely need to go in an if I go missing folder. Not to say this is absolutely everything you can get as detailed and crazy as you want, but you have to have these few things. [36:53] related to your cell phone. So that would be your login to your cell phone provider. What that can show people is the last calls you made, if you're texting different people. Depending on the provider, sometimes they'll show you, like, not the actual text, but who you're texting back and forth, the different contact numbers, so people can see who you're in contact with and if you're still actively using your phone. [37:14] The second is I have an iPhone, so I have in my folder my iCloud password or my Apple password. And basically what that would allow someone to do is log into my account and Apple has a Find My iPhone. If you don't have Apple, you can download different apps that are basically like that where... [37:34] You can track, you know, it's meant for if you lose your phone, but if someone loses you and you are with your phone, you can track and see where is the phone now, or if it's turned off, where's the last place that it was at when it was turned on. That would have been super key in something like Tanya's case. If he could have gone in and really pinpoint exactly where she was and say, okay, I know she was here last. Let me start my search there. He would have found her on day two instead of day eight. And another thing that was huge for them was the bank accounts.

[38:02] because the only card she had was the one he didn't have access to. [38:08] Exactly. So that's the third thing is any banking related information. So the login to your main banking account where you have your debit card, your credit card, your transactions, your bill pay, all of that stuff. But then also make sure you include those fringe credit cards as well. If you were to go missing, if someone were to take your wallet, even if it has nothing to do with you, it's nice for your family and friends to be able to look and say for sure that the cards haven't been used or if they have, that gives them a place to start. [38:35] I also highly recommend if you have any messaging applications. So along with all of your social media, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, any place that you could be interacting with another human, give the login to that because a lot of our communication these days goes on through Facebook Messenger, Instagram DMs, Twitter messaging, back and forth, WhatsApp, all these crazy Messenger apps that... [39:00] Just having your phone number means nothing. So giving someone the login there helps them track down the last people that would have been in contact with you. And a lot of times people are in contact with people online who really don't have any interaction with their IRL friends, if that makes sense. So you could have a totally different life online that maybe you're – [39:19] family, friends aren't 100% aware about or wouldn't even know to ask these people who might have viable information. Ashley, does your if I go missing folder include people that are friends or enemies? [39:32] Frenemies. So I don't want to like veer off, but I have an if I go missing folder, which is really just all of my logins so you can...

[39:42] like figure out with my last movements. I also have another envelope, not to like go off on a tangent, that's if I'm murdered. And that is where like I have a written will, but then also like what life insurance policies I know about and have approved of. Any one that [40:00] Like I think right now there's nobody, but like knock on wood, anyone that I would think would have a grudge against me or I had like a tumultuous history with. To me, those are two separate things, but heck, put them all into one. It certainly isn't going to hurt. As long as multiple people know about this, including the people, especially if the people on the list are people you consider close to you. [40:21] Right. So did I miss anything, Britt? Are there any other super key things that need to go in an if I go missing folder? So from a couple of our listeners, we've gotten tips like identifying information, hair color, eye color, tattoos, piercings, medical history, stuff like that. But something I learned while researching this case was also information for what your loved one should do in the event they have to open this envelope. [40:50] One thing that you should maybe look into as you're writing your If I Go Missing folder is what your local law enforcement agencies and jurisdictions are and where they start and stop. So I live in a city, but it's within a county. So depending on where I am, I may fall in different jurisdictions. [41:10] And I work in a completely separate county. So depending on, God forbid, I went missing, which law enforcement agencies my husband would need to contact, depending on what time of day it was, on what day. So if it was a Monday at 3, he would need to contact the county and city where I work. But if it was on a Saturday at 3, I might be at my parents' house, which is in the county, not the city I live in.

[41:40] usually in is really helpful. I never even thought of that but that is a great tip because that would save someone a lot of time. I mean think of like it Tom in this story like all the back and forth we've seen it in so many cases where someone's like well you live here but you went missing here and there's [41:56] Even the operators send people back and forth all the time. So I think you're going to save a lot of time with that. Like if you're actually in a situation and need somebody to help you, you want it to be as fast as possible. And I think it helps the person that's trying to help you because unfortunately, you know, we're all crime junkies. But a lot of the people in our lives aren't necessarily all crime junkies. And so they're not going to think of all this stuff. They're probably going to be kind of paralyzed by fear and anxiety. Right. [42:26] ones. They're like, you know, I have no idea where to even start. I never thought this would be my life. I never looked into this before. And so now I'm spending all this time doing this research when really I need to be actually like boots on the ground. So if you can get as much of that research done for them, then they can go boots on the ground to help you even faster. [42:44] Exactly. So providing that information in your if I go missing folder is [42:48] I think going to be really, really helpful in the event that God forbid your folder needs to be used. Another thing is to know the procedures for missing people ahead of time. And I have actually really struggled finding my city's [43:03] missing persons procedure, short of calling them and finding out like, "Hey, if I were to report a missing person, what would it take?" Which I'm kind of hesitant to do. But I'm also Googling voraciously, trying to find out what is my city's requirements. And I

[43:23] I only ask this because did you know that up until 2003, law enforcement agencies were only required to report missing persons under the age of 18? What? [43:33] Right. So up until wait, what year? 2003. That's only 15 years ago from the time this is recorded. That is bananas. [43:42] So, countless people have gone missing and aren't recorded anywhere because of laws like that. And like [43:49] Tanya said we have to be advocates of our own personal safety. So I would definitely encourage all of our listeners to look into their local laws regarding missing persons. Hopefully they're posted because again, I'm going to have to call my own city and county to figure out what their criteria for a missing person is. Or you guys can volunteer with your local Crime Stoppers and become best friends with some police there, which is what I'm going to do is contact all my homies [44:20] Exactly. And another thing that I learned while reading up on this is you can actually request for a public information officer, obviously, once you have a case number and a missing persons case open. So a public information officer is the person who interfaces with the media. So they'll help handle press inquiries and help push updates to the media about missing persons. [44:49] out there in the event that they are a missing person. And to that note, I mean, this applies to a lot of things, but especially to this, the squeaky wheel gets the grease is like a saying. 100%. And you don't feel like you're bothering people. You might be bothering people, but that's okay. Your loved one is missing. So make sure your loved ones know that be the loudest, don't stop, keep nagging, keep calling, no matter how long it's been, no matter how much they tell you to stop calling, the person who's the loudest is going to get the most attention at the end of

[45:19] when [45:20] Even if it's a cold case when officers have free time, they're going to work on the case of the person who's on their back all the time. [45:27] Definitely. Like Tanya said, [45:29] We are our own advocates. I also think it's really important to have a list of people's names and contact information that you do have regular contact with. Because I know my parents, they know where I work. But to save them looking up the phone number and who my direct boss is and who I interact with, have a list. Who's your best friend? Who are you texting every day? What's their cell phone number? Who are some of your coworkers that you talk to? Because there's probably, whoever's looking for you probably doesn't know every person [45:59] phone number, and they probably don't have your phone if you're missing. [46:03] Guys, one other thing that I have included with my "If I go missing, if I'm murdered, if something tragic happens to me" folder is a DNA kit. We actually have them through Crime Stoppers and what we're going to do is make them available for sale on our website as a fundraiser for Crime Stoppers of Central Indiana. [46:25] I know this is one of those things that no one wants to use, but again, it's basically an envelope with a swab in it. So you can take your DNA, keep it in the envelope, keep it in the freezer. And that way, if they needed to identify a body, they don't have to go looking for hairbrushes or toothbrushes or wonder if someone else used your stuff. You have this very well-preserved DNA sample. Yeah, and for me, I'm adopted. And until a couple years ago, I had...

[46:51] zero contact with anyone who is biologically related to me. And after Lori Hacking, who was also adopted, went missing and was murdered back in 2004, my adoptive parents actually offered to take me to a police station to get my fingerprints and DNA swab done. And I was a conspiracy theorist back then and declined. But now I have two adopted kids, which means one. [47:18] Of the four people in our household, none of us share the same DNA. So I've actually gotten these kits for everyone in my family, which is like the most confident $20 I've ever spent. And now we have a sample in our freezer for me... [47:37] and my husband and both [47:39] Our son and our daughter. I mean, better safe than sorry? Again, not something I know any of us ever want to think about, but it is one of those things that it's super important [47:51] time-saving and important to have. So again, we're doing this as a fundraiser for Crime Stoppers. If you want to go to our website, CrimeJunkiePodcast.com, you can go to our shop and purchase that DNA kit. We will mail it out to you. You do your own swab and then keep it in your freezer. And then hopefully you never... [48:08] ever, ever have to use it again. So if you guys want to go to our website as well on the blog post, we're going to have basically a bullet list of everything we mentioned today, as well as a PDF download. So if you guys don't even want to write everything down, you just want to fill it in, you can do that as well. So go there, be weird, be rude, and stay alive so we can see you guys next week.

[49:00] This episode of Crime Junkie was written, edited, and produced by me, Burt Praywatt, and co-written by Ashley Flowers. [49:08] All of our music, including our theme song, comes from Justin Daniel. Crime Jackie is an audio track production. So what do you think, Chuck? Do you approve? [49:19] hey crime junkies it's the last episode of the month and that means puppet of the month but we wanted this episode to stand alone so we're actually pushing everyone's favorite puppet segment to next week's episode so tune in next week [49:45] Bye. [49:45] . [49:50] Okay, crime junkies, you know I absolutely love a twist and a turn, especially when it comes to people who turn out to be someone they're not. That's why I have been obsessed with the podcast Chameleon. Every Thursday, host Josh Dean deep dives into a scam so bizarre, it will leave you wondering, how did they get away with that? [50:08] It is truly one of my favorite podcasts right now and I've been listening for years. [50:12] I think you'll love it too. [50:13] Listen to Chameleon wherever you get your podcasts.